Ramadhan Kareem

Salam,

It's not too late to wish everyone

'Selamat Menjalani Ibadah Puasa'

You know when people wish you 'Semoga Ramadhan tahun ini lebih bermakna daripada tahun sebelumnya', for me, it already is a better Ramadhan this year, Alhamdulillah.

Why, you asked? 

Last year during Ramadhan, specifically on 21 June 2015, I miscarried my 6-weeks old baby. It was my second miscarriage in less than a year, because before that, I miscarried in September 2014. It happened so fast. That day I was at my sister's house helping her with some chores when I noticed a brown spotting. Hati dah tak sedap, because it reminded me of my first miscarriage experience. I tried to convince myself it was nothing serious, because in some women, spotting occurs right up until the baby is full term. 

Before going back to Puchong, we went to a clinic in Putrajaya to check on the baby. The doc said she could not see the sac, probably because it was still early or because my bladder was empty that she could not get a good view of my uterus. So off we went back to Puchong. That day my in laws decided to have iftar outside, but I followed the doc's advice to have 2-3 days of bed rest just to be on the safe side. 

Next day when I woke up for sahur, the worst happened. I saw fresh blood on the liner and told myself, 'it's happening'. I was sad, but I didn't cry, because deep down I think I knew it was coming, and it wasn't my rezeki, again. So H and I went to the clinic and the doc confirmed that miscarriage was in process, and it should be completed in 2-3 days (or something like that, I can't really remember now). 

And the rest was history. I wrote this note last year when it happened, and no one has ever seen it other than myself. So consider yourself lucky for seeing this for the first time :)

Alhamdulillah, this year, this Ramadhan, we will be expecting our third baby (2 angel babies are already in Heaven) :D 

To all TTC mommies out there, don't give up hope. I don't have any tips/tricks to share with you but just remember that Allah is The Omniscient and He is The Best Planner. Keep that in your mind all the time. Never stop praying to Him, inshAllah, 'The Best Is Yet To Come'.

'Demi Allah yang jiwaku ditangannya !Tidaklah Allah memutuskan sesuatu ketentuan bagi seorang mukmin melainkan mengandungi kebaikan baginya. Dan tiadalah kebaikan itu kecuali bagi mukmin . Jika ia memperolehi kegembiraan dia berterima kasih bererti kebaikan baginya , dan jika ia ditimpa kesulitan dia bersabar bererti kebaikan baginya'

-Riwayat Muslim-

Diari Ramadhan 1433

2.45 am: Bangun sahur

3.20 am: Subuh

4.00 am: Tidur

8.00 am: Bangun, siap pergi office

10.00 am-5.00 pm: Work

7.30 pm: Masak for berbuka

9.00 pm: Berbuka 

10.00 pm: Maghrib

11.00 pm: Isya' and terawih

12.00 am: Tidur

A bit tight at night, 10 sebab me being a sleeping baby mesti nak tidur jugak before sahur. And disebabkan Isya' pun pukul 11, maka bila terawih tu rakaat nak hujung-hujung tu kadang-kadang macam di awang-awangan (if you know what I mean). But all in all, it's been a good Ramadhan so far. 18 hours? Passed!

Sleepy Friday

Guess what?

I'm gonna put up my Western blot image again! Bahahaha. My blog has turned so nerdy nowadays. Fret not, it'll be colored with interesting posts in the near future *hint hint*

You don't have to understand it, enough to know that these two black and white pictures made me so happy this week! I have been working on it for almost two months, trying to isolate a pure sample, and voila! I finally got it! Alhamdulillah. Now the real challenge begins. But I'll only start to worry about it after I'm back from my holiday in September *wah macam dah boleh bercuti sekarang je kan*

On another note, Ramadhan is just around the corner. It'll be my first time fasting during summer time (kalau dipanjangkan umur). At first when I learned that Ramadhan is going to be in summer, I was like, 'Errrr, boleh ke ni?' But of course lah kena bolehkan jugak kan, takkan taknak puasa kot? Biasalah reaction manusia huhu. When I puasa 1 Rejab the other day, it wasn't that bad at all. Walaupun puasa from 3 am to 9 pm (roughly), tahap kelaparan tu masih boleh dibendung. Takde la lembik sangat bila tiba time berbuka tu. So yeah, lesson learned, tak payah nak mengeluh dulu sebelum cuba :| So sempena Ramadhan yang bakal tiba, I'd like to wish my Muslim readers, Ramadhan Mubarak! *wish macam artis*

Next time I post in here, hopefully it'll not be pictures of Western blots, but something really really different :P

Till we meet again.

Salam.

Cerita Kedai Kopi

Salam,

Bulan puasa tahun lepas, si hati kecil ada berbisik, kononnya nak start pakai skirt all the time, meaning bila keluar dating outing, no more jeans, but nak jadi gadis ayu pakai skirt huhuhu. 'Jeans diet' lah kononnya. Hasrat si hati kecil tu rasanya berjaya jugak la sepanjang bulan puasa tu, dan berterusan sampai bulan raya. Berbekalkan skirt yang dibeli online dan cotton tees from Uniqlo, maka gigihlah hati kecil ni meneruskan niat. Actually, masa dua-dua bulan tu takde lah keluar sangat, sebab masa tu dah menganggur (tunggu masa nak fly) and duduk dengan parents kat Seremban. Keluar pun bila pergi hantar kuih raya kat Putrajaya/Bangi, hantar borang KPT, pergi buka puasa dengan rakan taulan and orang office Ayah dan maybe ada lah berapa kali pergi Jusco Seremban 2 (sebab depan rumah). Lepas tu bulan raya pulak, of course beraya pakai baju kurung, lepas tu (eh berapa banyak lepas tu daaa) pergi cousin kahwin kat Terengganu memang pakai skirt je. Masa tengok Yuna kat MPO tu pun pakai sebab memang kena pakai ala-ala formal gitew. Itu cerita bulan puasa dan raya.

Yuna's MPO Concert

| A-cut skirt RNR Collection | Lacey top Forever 21 |

| Cardigan Romp | Pashmina Reject Shop |

Niat si hati kecil nak teruskan azam tu sampailah ke bumi United Kingdom ni. Namun, apakan daya, sampai-sampai cuaca sejuk sekali dan angin tak mainlah sepoi-sepoi, takut nanti jadi macam Marilyn Monroe lah pulak (read: alasan no.1). Lepas tu (lagi?) rasa macam too dressy lah pulak nak pakai skirt pergi office/lab tetiap hari (read: alasan no.2). Padahal dressy amende, macam makcik je adalah. Konon amik inspirasi dari Shea Rasol, but she looks like a goddess while I look like makcik jual ikan. Huhuhu.

Alasan alasan.

Bila cuaca kembali mengizinkan, lalu bersoraklah si hati kecil ni sebab dapat pakai skirt balik. Tak jamin lagi dapat berterusan, tapi takpe baby step, baby step. 'Rome wasn't built in a day' :))

| Maxi skirt (brown) Shop SputnikSweetheart | Top Primark | Shawl H&M |

| Maxi skirt (grey) Shop SputnikSweetheart | 

| Crop tee & black inner Primark | Shawl Arab mari |

| Maxi skirt ThePopLook | Top Primark | Shawl Uniqlo |

p/s: Doakan si hati kecil ni istiqamah ye, dan semoga niat nya betul :)

Desperation is everywhere.

Salam,

Sedih dan takut tengok berita sekarang ni. Anak tetak mak, bunuh ayah. Ragut sana sini, even bulan puasa pun semua ni terjadi. Apa nak jadi dengan dunia ni. Kita bajet, bulan puasa, takdelah dengar berita-berita ngeri ni, instead, penuh dengan berita amal jariah yang orang sekeliling lakukan. Hakikatnya, tak kira bulan apa pun, manusia terdesak ni tetap terdesak.

Begitu juga dengan tempat. Kita bajet, Kuala Lumpur, New York City, dan seangkatan dengannya, bandar penuh jenayah, maksiat, penuh dosa. Dan guess di mana tempat paling suci? Orang Muslim pastilah akan kata Kota Mekah dan Madinah. Memang tak dinafikan, Mekah dan Madinah adalah tempat suci, tempat yang dipelihara oleh Allah SWT. Tapi ia nya tidaklah 'suci' dari orang-orang yang terdesak. Hakikatnya, tak kira dekat mana pun, manusia terdesak ni tetap terdesak.

#1

Peluang mengerjakan umrah dalam bulan Ramadhan tahun lepas tak disia-siakan dengan cubaan untuk menyentuh Hajar-ul Aswad. Kesesakan dekat area tu memang tak boleh nak diceritakan. Orang bertolak, menarik satu sama lain, berebut, menjerit, menangis, segala macam benda boleh experience masa tu. Ada seorang 'guard' yang ditugaskan untuk mengawal keadaan di penjuru Kaabah tersebut. Saya membuat percubaan setelah selesai solat sunat, bukan ketika tawaf, sebabnya memang terlalu sesak kalau nak berebut time tawaf tu. Baiklah selesaikan saja rukun-rukun umrah dulu. Setelah menolakkan diri sedaya yang mampu, akhirnya dapatlah sentuh silver frame yang memegang batu syurga tu. Tak tercapai untuk pegang, apatah lagi mencium batu tersebut sebab memang boleh sesak nafas kalau saya cuba lagi. Takat tu je yang termampu. Itu pun telekung masa tu dah hampir nak tertanggal dah, dek orang menolak dan menarik dari belakang. Sedih memang ada sebab sudah terlalu hampir, tapi tak berjaya. Orang kata, 'so close yet so far'. Tapi mungkin belum ada rezeki.

Alhamdulillah, abang ipar saya dua kali dapat mencium batu syurga tu. Beruntung..

Oh cerita pasal orang terdesak tu berlaku pada Mama saya. Atas tu intro je. Dalam keadaan sesak tu, ada yang mengambil kesempatan. Masa tu Mama pergi buat umrah dengan kawan-kawan. Seperti pengunjung Masjidil Haram yang lain, pasti nak cuba cium Hajar-ul Aswad. Begitu juga Mama. Tapi Mama beruntung, dalam keadaan bersesak tu, datang 6-7 wanita Ind** berkata pada Mama yang mereka akan bantu untuk Mama cium Hajar-ul Aswad. Wanita-wanita tersebut bertindak mengepung kawasan kecil agar Mama dapat cium batu syurga tu. Alhamdulillah atas bantuan mereka, Mama dapat cium Hajar-ul Aswad. Tapi, sejurus selepas tu, mereka menarik Mama ke belakang dan meminta wang. Katanya upah kerana telah membantu Mama. Tak sangkakan, begitu dekat dengan Kaabah, tapi orang-orang terdesak ni sanggup buat perkara begitu. Ingatkan ikhlas membantu. Mereka pada mulanya meminta SR400, tapi manalah Mama bawa sebanyak tu, nak pergi buat umrah je pun. Lepas itu mereka minta SR200, dan last sekali Mama pun terpaksa membayar SR100 kerana itu saja wang yang Mama ada pada masa tu.

Image from Google.

#2

Ketika berada di Mekah, kami di bawa menziarahi tempat-tempat bersejarah di sekita Mekah. Ketika melawat Arafah, kami di bawa ke Bukit Arafah/Jabal Rahmah, di mana Nabi Adam dan Hawa bertemu semula setelah terpisah sekian lama. Oleh sebab peristiwa itu, orang selalu meminta doa bertemu jodoh di puncak Jabal Rahmah ini. Saya pun tak ketinggalan :) Untuk sampai ke puncak, kami perlu menaiki anak tangga yang agak tinggi. Mama pun kuatkan kaki untuk mendaki untuk doakan jodoh anak-anaknya, mungkin :P Sepanjang pendakian itu, terdapat kelibat anak-anak kecil berzikir sambil meminta sedekah. Boleh dikatakan semuanya anak-anak kecil berkulit hitam.  Ada juga kelibat seorang dua wanita dewasa, mungkin ibu kepada anak-anak ini. Tak henti-henti anak-anak ini berzikir. Mereka ini berbaring di atas anak-anak tangga itu dan apa yang jelas, mereka kelihatan seperti kudung kedua-dua belah tangan. Tapi pada waktu itu, saya agak musykil, kerana tangan mereka yang kudung itu kelihatan tajam, seperti bila kita melipat tangan kita, maka siku kita jadi 'tajam'. Get what I mean? Huhu. Jadi setelah berdoa, dan ketika menuruni bukit tersebut, saya berkata kepada Mama tentang itu. Mama pun pelik, lalu Mama cuba menyentuh tangan kudung seorang kanak-kanak disitu. Dengan lajunya dia menepis, dan muka bertukar marah. Benarlah tekaan saya, bukan kudung, tetapi mereka melipat tangan lalu meletak kedua-dua tangan di belakang leher, untuk dapat effect 'kudung'. Tapi siku mereka tidak dapat menipu. Saya rasa ada lebih 10 kanak-kanak sepanjang tangga ke atas bukit itu, dan hampir kesemua mereka dengan berbaring lagak yang sama. Terkejut, dan sedih dalam masa yang sama kerana sejak dari kecil anak-anak ini telah diajar untuk mengemis dan menipu. 

 .

Semoga tiada di antara kita yang tergolong dalam golongan orang-orang terdesak ini. Sama-samalah kita doakan agar mereka mendapat hidayah dari Allah SWT. 

Blessed.

Salam,

Going to Notts alone is really tough, compared to going to the US for my undergraduate studies. While I was in INTEC, everything was prepared for you. Well not really, but there were people to tell you to do this, do that, take this, bring it there, go here etc. There was even a driver who took me to take my TOEFL in KL. Thank you OSSP team for making it so easy then.

This time, there's no more OSSP. No more the friendly Kak Zira OSSP, no more the helpful Encik Din. I have to do everything by myself. I have to KNOW everything myself. I must admit, it does get a little overwhelmed sometimes, to a point that I just go to bed wishing come morning, everything is settled. No, it  never happened.

But Alhamdulillah, Allah sent me these kind people to help me out with my preparation. These people are whom I just met. Some I just met online, but MasyALLAH, the good deeds they did for me, it's like we've been friends for years.

#1

Last week I had to attend a 5-day course in USM, Penang. Last time I came to USM for my interview, my mom and I stayed in a hotel, as it was very last minute and it was just a one night stay after all. But to stay in a hotel for 5 days, errrr maybe not. So I asked an acquaintance of mine, who I met during the interview at USM, if she'd be going. During our first meeting, we had a brief 10 minutes chat and exchanged phone numbers and that was it. So she said she'd be going, and she offered me to stay with her. How relieved I was to hear that. Though she stays in the hostel, with another girl, she still made a room for me; she even bought a new pillow for me. True act of kindness, that was. During the whole 5 days stay, she never made me go hungry :P Bila kat tempat orang, normally I would 'behave', if you know what I mean. But something about them (my friend and her bf) made me so comfortable about 'revealing my true self' *again, if you know what I mean*. Within 30 minutes of our meeting, they already know how I loooove food. Haha. Read between the lines.

#2

There is this 'abang' I came to know during my BTN course last June. I think each and everyone of us at the camp knows him, because of his friendliness. He went around the hall asking contact details from everyone. His initial intention was to look for someone who's going to UK with family, because he wanted to know the process for visa application. Now that his visa is approved, he is my reference. I must say he is very very helpful. I think he does a better job than any other guidelines I found on the net. All those knitty gritty details about the forms, and the whole process, he knows it all. He always have answers to my questions. He's willing to dig out his forms, e-mail me stuff just for the sake of helping me. He really doesn't have to do all that. For all he knows, he could just tell me to read the guidelines and say, 'Don't worry it's easy you'll be fine'. But no, he looked high and low for stuff for my easy reference. 

#3

I have never met her. We were introduced by an officer through e-mail, because apparently we both e-mailed the officer to look for potential roommate/housemate in Notts. From changing e-mails, we went to changing texts, then added each other on YM, and later of Facebook. At one time, I wasn't actively looking for accommodation because I was still waiting for confirmation from my sponsor I dare not prepared a lot. Finally when I got the confirmation, I messaged on her Facebook asking if she got a place already, and she said yes. A sister in Notts helped her arrange for accommodation. She then introduced me to this sister and voila! I got my accommodation arranged in 2 days. 

Last Saturday, Notts SEA Office organized a pre-departure briefing for incoming students. I was contemplating whether to go or not because I was lazy to take the 2+ hours KTM train and was even lazier to drive to KL on a Saturday. The night before, she YM-ed me asking if I'd be going to the briefing. I said probably not because I was in Seremban and I really didn't wanna drive. To my surprised, she said she was also in Seremban, at her parents' home. I've never known that fact of her, all I know is she is staying somewhere in KL because she works with BNM. Without hesitation, she immediately asked me whether I wanted to carpool with her and that she'd picking me up in front of Jusco Seremban. Memang rezeki Ramadhan. Semua benda dipermudahkan. Alhamdulillah.


I think I didn't do justice to these people. I could not articulate my thoughts very well. I'm 99.99% confident that these people won't find this blog of mine, but I must say, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP! You people made me feel so blessed. You have no idea how you have made my life easy with all the help. I really appreciate it.

Having all these kind people around me made me realize that, I should do the same to people around me.

To offer help without people asking.
To offer help without expecting anything.
To offer help because you have the ability and capacity to do it and you say to yourself, why not?

Sempena Ramadhan ini, let's reflect upon ourselves, have we been kind to people around us?

An act of kindness goes a long way.

Let's jom?

On time.

Salam,

I think I'm going to blog about my umrah experience throughout this Holy month. I hope I can recall them :)

Last Friday I was in USM attending a course. Lunch break was from 12 pm to 2.30 pm. I thought of seeing the Dean, but nay he left early that day. Well, what did I expect, it was Friday and the Dean is a man. So yeah. Then we went to the computer lab (kes pelarian takde tempat nk lepak), but it was closed. Fine. We went to the lecture hall where we had our talk. We sat there for about 10 mins then came a guard chasing us out because he wanted to lock the hall. Sigh. Dah lah taktau selok belok USM tu, kena jadi pelarian pulak. Sob3. It was 1 pm by then so we thought let's just to the musolla. 

Then it was time for Zuhur prayer. I heard the azan, and I got up. I kinda talked to myself, 'Wow, solat on time. Jarang gila'. Yeah, I admit it. Memang jarang sangat solat on the dot. Ada je benda yang nak buat lalu lengah-lengahkan solat.

Then I remember about being in Makkah and Madinah last year. Even before I went there, my mom always told us that the Arabs would just halt all their businesses and solat berjemaah setiap kali waktu solat.  All shops would temporarily close come prayer time. Every single time. 

One day, we went to the mall in Jeddah and it was about Maghrib prayer. So the ladies (me, my mom and my sister) rushed to the musolla to pray. On the way to the musolla, we saw rows and rows of men getting ready to perform their solat. Bayangkan dalam mall, dekat setiap lorong, celah and whatnot tu, ada orang tengah solat berjemaah. Oh, what a great view! Rasa macam terpegun dan terharu. Dengar je azan, semua orang berhenti buat hal duniawi dan straight away menunaikan solat. MasyALLAH. Bayangkan betapa banyak pahala yang mereka dapat, solat berjemaah 5 waktu setiap hari. 

Agak-agak boleh tak Malaysia practice amalan ni?

Kalau kita nak start practice, mesti soalan pertama yang timbul ialah, productivity. Nak kena halt businesses sampai 4 kali sehari. I believe it's never a question for the Arabs. Satu sebabnya, mereka dah memang negara yang kaya. Tak heran pun pasal productivity.

Tapi sebenarnya tak perlu sampai ke peringkat negara. Mari kita start dengan diri sendiri dulu. Ini juga peringatan untuk diri sendiri. Kalau train kita nak dia datang on time, bila KTM lambat sikit mula naik angin (refer kat diri sendiri jugak). Mungkin kita boleh apply benda yang sama untuk solat. Allah pun nak kita solat on time, Allah pun tak suka kalau kita lengah-lengahkan. 

p/s: Alangkah best nya kalau dapat tengok orang Islam Malaysia buat macam dekat Arab tu. Sejuk hati.

p/p/s: Oh cakap pasal kaya, teringat my mom tanya soalan ni dekat her fellow Arab friend. 'Korang ni dah kaya, apsal airport tu tak naik taraf sikit? Berjuta-juta orang datang each year, tapi airport system sama je. ' *Obviously they didn't speak Malay* Kawan Arab tu pun cakap, 'Awak dah sebut jawapannya. Setiap tahun orang berjuta-juta akan datang juga ke Saudi no matter what, jadi tak kisahlah airport ok ke tak, sebab memang orang akan datang jugak (untuk Haji dan Umrah).' 

Ramadhan Mubarak!

Alhamdulillah, another year has passed.

And now we meet again.

I had the opportunity to experience 4 days of Ramadhan in the Holy Makkah last year.

It was an unforgettable experience, and I would love to repeat it again and again, InsyALLAH.

What I love about fasting in Makkah was the free food.

Yes, free food.

On the first day of Ramadhan, as we were walking back to our hotel room after Asr prayer, we saw a bunch of people gathering around a car. As we got closer, we saw one man distributing packed food to the crowd.

Excited by the whole scene, we joined the crowd and reached to the man for the food.

If this were to happen in Malaysia, we must be thinking, 'Oh, it's the rich man giving out free food to the poor'.

But no, in Makkah, everyone gives out, and everyone takes in.

The packed food we got on the first day. If I remember correctly, there were bun, dates, air kotak, and biscuit. Then we filled our bottles with the free flow of air zam zam in the Masjidilharam.

.

When people came to the mosque for Maghrib, normally people would just stay from Maghrib up till the end of Tarawikh. You know, Makkah draws about 2-3 million Muslims from around the world during Ramadhan. So if you go out of the mosque to break fast after Maghrib prayer, chances are, you are going to end up praying outside the mosque, on the marble floor. So we decided that we are just going to stay till the end of Tarawikh. Which means, we were going to properly break our fast at 11 pm. 

Guess what we survived on? Lots of dates, and lots of air zam zam.

And there were no cases of 'perut berkeroncong' and whatnot. 

At first I doubted it when Mama said that we were going to be fine just with dates and air zam zam.

But I was wrong.

Memang kenyang.

Alhamdulillah.

See the amount of dates that we 'collected' that day?

Yes, those dates were given by complete strangers.

I remember we were also given a kind of Arabic bread, and we ate it with cream cheese.

Those generous people, may Allah bless all of you.

And we thought it was only food.

But no, after Maghrib prayer, while we ate our dates and waited for Isya' prayer, a girl came to my mom and guess what?

She gave my mom 5 riyal. 

We were stunned by the whole scene, like, why would she gave my mom money?

Then we came to a conclusion that, it's just the act of giving.

It's the Holy Ramadhan, and 'orang berlumba-lumba untuk buat kebaikan'.

Ya Allah, how I miss to be in Makkah again.

I just have so many things to tell people about the whole experience.

InsyaALLAH, sama-sama kita doakan semoga kita semua dapat ke sana suatu hari nanti.

I was really fortunate, it was my graduation gift I'll never forget.

Ramadhan Mubarak.

Let's be thankful that Allah allows us to experience yet another Ramadhan.

Let's not sia-siakan peluang ini, shall we?

p/s: I was not a fan of dates before my trip to Makkah. Nak makan satu time berbuka pun bukan main susah. Alhamdulillah, when I was there, almost everyday makan dates, and I'm loving it now. Especially kurma nabi aka kurma ajwa.