It's not too late to wish everyone
'Selamat Menjalani Ibadah Puasa'
You know when people wish you 'Semoga Ramadhan tahun ini lebih bermakna daripada tahun sebelumnya', for me, it already is a better Ramadhan this year, Alhamdulillah.
Why, you asked?
Last year during Ramadhan, specifically on 21 June 2015, I miscarried my 6-weeks old baby. It was my second miscarriage in less than a year, because before that, I miscarried in September 2014. It happened so fast. That day I was at my sister's house helping her with some chores when I noticed a brown spotting. Hati dah tak sedap, because it reminded me of my first miscarriage experience. I tried to convince myself it was nothing serious, because in some women, spotting occurs right up until the baby is full term.
Before going back to Puchong, we went to a clinic in Putrajaya to check on the baby. The doc said she could not see the sac, probably because it was still early or because my bladder was empty that she could not get a good view of my uterus. So off we went back to Puchong. That day my in laws decided to have iftar outside, but I followed the doc's advice to have 2-3 days of bed rest just to be on the safe side.
Next day when I woke up for sahur, the worst happened. I saw fresh blood on the liner and told myself, 'it's happening'. I was sad, but I didn't cry, because deep down I think I knew it was coming, and it wasn't my rezeki, again. So H and I went to the clinic and the doc confirmed that miscarriage was in process, and it should be completed in 2-3 days (or something like that, I can't really remember now).
And the rest was history. I wrote this note last year when it happened, and no one has ever seen it other than myself. So consider yourself lucky for seeing this for the first time :)
Alhamdulillah, this year, this Ramadhan, we will be expecting our third baby (2 angel babies are already in Heaven) :D
To all TTC mommies out there, don't give up hope. I don't have any tips/tricks to share with you but just remember that Allah is The Omniscient and He is The Best Planner. Keep that in your mind all the time. Never stop praying to Him, inshAllah, 'The Best Is Yet To Come'.
'Demi Allah yang jiwaku ditangannya !Tidaklah Allah memutuskan sesuatu ketentuan bagi seorang mukmin melainkan mengandungi kebaikan baginya. Dan tiadalah kebaikan itu kecuali bagi mukmin . Jika ia memperolehi kegembiraan dia berterima kasih bererti kebaikan baginya , dan jika ia ditimpa kesulitan dia bersabar bererti kebaikan baginya'