**May this be a reminder for me and H, the moments before we called ourselves parents, and for our firstborn Qaiser Mateen to learn how he came about to this world.**
Monday 6 June
Petang around 4 pm macam tu pergi jenguk Mamunchkin (our milkshake kiosk at Taman Perpaduan Ipoh. Asyik tangguh nak post about this), buat apa yang patut. Masa kat situ dah rasa tak sedap perut, but I didn't think I was having surges because I know how it feels like sebab masa miscarriage first time haritu dah rasa. I thought it was the maternity jeans that made me so uncomfortable. Sempat jugak pergi bazaar belakang kedai. Tapi on the way balik rumah, dalam kereta, dah macam cacing kepanasan, tak boleh duduk diam. Still thought it was the jeans -___- sampai sumpah taknak pakai dah jeans tu huhu.
Sampai rumah, I sat on the gym ball, and H gave me light touch massage (one of the massage techniques we learned from the Hypnobirthing class) to calm me down. It worked! I felt fine throughout the rest of the night.
Tuesday 7 June
It was a normal day. Tak rasa apa-apa.
Wednesday 8 June
Again, around 4 pm macamtu rasa tak sedap perut. Sempat jugak pergi bazaar kt Stadium Ipoh with H and my parents. Balik tu rasa 'maybe I should time the surges', so I did. The surges were irregular, but ada masanya app tu said something like 'You should go to the hospital now'. We were like, naaaahh it couldn't be right. So malam tu layan je la surges tu. Whatsapp-ed my sister, and she said it could be Braxton Hicks contractions since it was irregular. Mama pulak before pergi night duty malam tu, dah siap2 pack kurma and air zam-zam, in case I went into labor that night. She is doing locum dekat pusat bersalin yang kitorang decide nak pergi.
Thursday 9 June
Bermulalah episod 'purging' atau 'membuang'. Lepas sahur around 6 am tu pergi lagi toilet. Pelik jugak, ingat macam kena food poisoning ke sebab semalam tu ade beli pecal kt bazaar, takde la kata basi tapi tu je boleh fikir time tu. Tapi everybody was fine, it was just me.
Another 'purging' session. Bila Mama balik from night duty pagi tu, tanya Mama ada sakit perut ke, Mama said yes. So betul la kot sebab bazaar.
I asked mommies dalam Telegram Hypnobirthing Support Group (awesome mommies yang rajin share tips and tricks) pasal 'purging' before labor and also about my irregular surges. Ada yang kata maybe dehydration, ada yang kata practice labor. So I just waited it out.
Masa nak mandi, baru sedar ada 'bloody show'. Stayed calm, told Mama and Mama suruh mandi hot shower and after that she would do VE. My mom is certified midwife :) So lepas mandi she did VE on me, dah 4 cm. Rupanya I was in real labor, LOL. Boleh ingat food poisoning. Siap-siap barang semua, had breakfast (nak beranak uols, kena la bukak pose :P) and off we went to Pusat Pakar Permata Raaofah. Mama estimated I would deliver before bukak puasa, so dah bagitau Ayah siap2 nanti datang around 6pm bawak makanan untuk berbuka.
Sampai je PPPR, terus masuk labor room sebab dah 4 cm. Masa sampai-sampai tu dah bagi the nurses on duty my birth plan. Basically in my birth plan I set out to deliver in the most gentle and natural way possible - no drugs, no episiotomy, no unnecessary interventions, delay cord clamping, direct skin-to-skin, allow time for breast crawl, breastfeeding and family bonding right after birth and few other things.
Midwife on duty buat another VE, dah 5cm. She alerted Dr. Raaofah, she gave me 2 hours to get to 7 cm, kalau tak she would rupture the membrane. Huhu. So selama 2 jam tu alternate walking around the hospital and duduk atas gym ball. Bile surge datang, I did the surge breathing while visualizing rainbow balloons, and my three babies (2 from the previous pregnancies) main-main dalam taman syurga, and eventually one baby (the one I was carrying) slid down the rainbow to meet me in real world. Aih susah nak explain hahaha. But memang setiap kali surge datang I visualized the same thing and that helped me manage the 'pain'. This is one of the techniques we learned from the class, to hypnotize yourself as one way of pain management.
Midwife did another VE, it was 6 cm. Dang it. Dah nervous dah sebab kalau tak 7 cm doc akan buat ROM. Rasanya masa ni diorang dah put me on IV drip, katanya utk baby. I wanted to refuse it tapi sebab diri sendiri tak buat homework pasal IV drip ni, so redha je la. But midwife still allow me to be off the bed, takde lah keras je duduk atas katil.
Doc masuk, did another VE. Berapa banyak kali VE daaaa. Padahal dalam birth plan dah kata max 3. Again, redha. Masa ni 7 cm kot. Tetibe rasa banyak air keluar, rupenye mase doc buat VE tu my water broke dengan sendiri nya. And there was light meconium stain in the fluid..dalam kata lainnya baby dah berak sikit..
Lepas tu, bermulalah intense surges yang hmmppphh..lupe dah macamana rasanya. A few times midwife tanya and my mom tanya nak Entenox (the laughing gas) tak, I kept declining. Dalam kepala ada la a few times bila surge datang tu fikir arghhh nak amik je la gas tu, tapi dapat tahan jugak dari keluar kata-kata keramat tu. Yang jadi mangsa siapa lagi kalau bukan my darling H. Bila surge datang akan peluk leher die kuat-kuat, sambil visualise macam kat atas tadi, and told myself this would be over soon. Yelah surges paling lama pun macam 40 seconds to 1 minute camtu kan. So tahan je.
Lepas doc check tu, I dah lost track of time and memory pun dah hilang dah. Kena tanya H apa yang exactly jadi. Throughout the time in the labor room, nurses ada ambil my BP reading and baby's heartbeat pki doppler. Rasanya ade midwife tanya boleh tak saya buat VE, I gently declined. Cakap kejap lagi ye. Sebab I rasa macam tak perlu..tapi hujung-hujung tu ada la jugak die buat skali lagi and I was fully dilated. Lepas tu diorang dah start suruh push the baby out. OK ni saat yang malas nak ingat. Sebab masa ni ilmu Hypnobirthing dah ke laut. I did J breathing tapi midwives suruh push, cakap what I was doing was wrong. Sigh. Masa diorang suruh push, I was a bit confused actually. I didn't have the urge to push. Diorang tanya ada rasa nak poo tak, I didn't feel anything. Masa ni, surges yang datang pun dah tak rasa sakit sangat. I was confused sebab from my reading and hearing other people's experiences, akan rasa 'the ring of fire' yang sakit gila tu, the thing is I didn't feel it.
After around 40 minutes cuba push, doc came in and said we couldn't wait anymore, we had to use vacuum. I was like OK ape2 je la dah tak larat actually, bukan takde tenaga tapi macam dah hilang kesabaran, I just wanted the baby to be out. And out he went at 5.58 pm. Bergegar labour room tu dengan suara Qaiser Mateen kui3. They had to clamp the cord right away despite my wish to have delayed cord clamping because of the light meconium staining. They took him to a side room to aspirate his nose and mouth, before bringing him back to me to have skin-to-skin bonding. Walaupun tak lama, I was really happy that we did have the moment together. Feel of the vernix coating yang melekit-lekit tu, wah typing this makes me want to relive that moment. It felt so crude. I tried to breastfeed him but somehow it didn't happen so my mom said let the nurses take him away for clean up, kasi can the nurses buka puasa because it was almost 7.
All in all, I enjoyed the whole birthing experience. I managed to go through it drug-free and although I couldn't tick everything on my birth plan off, I am grateful that the process went smoothly and both mom and baby came out of the experience healthy and happy :)
I'm ever so grateful to have shared this wonderful experience with my husband and my mom. Thank you Dr. Raoofah and her team, and thank you Kak Ayuni Zainuddin, my Hypnobirthing 'cikgu' for the knowledge.
I must say, going into labor with knowledge is so empowering, both for me and H.