Tingkatkan prestasi, kurangkan kontroversi.

Exactly what I need to do now. Well maybe not controversy though, maybe complaining and being lazy would suit my situation better.

I am pretty sure everyone is experiencing this- lack of motivation, having love hate relationship with bed in the morning, Mon-Tue-Wed-Thu-Fri blues etc, be it you are working 9-5 job or a PhD student. I know it's not fair to compare one over the other, but I think it is easier to lose focus and drive while doing PhD.

This month alone I have been going through a lot of dramas (PhD dramas that is)-broken centrifuge, failed western blots and failed trips to the other hospital which is 30 minutes away because 1) the rotor I brought didn't fit the centrifuge 2) they didn't have enough tubes for me to use (sorry if some of you can't understand what I said huhu). But between the failures, I did celebrate the fact that I passed my first year assessment that made me an official PhD candidate. But really, if I can plot my motivasi/prestasi graph, it'll look like ombak. Naik turun naik turun in the matter of days.

I don't know if this is normal, maybe it is. So what I normally do is whenever I feel down, I'd let myself bermalas malasan as in melayan the unmotivated feelings but at the same time promise myself to get back up again afterwards. Walaupun down sebab experiments tak jadi, I have to keep telling myself that every experiment helps me to answer one little question. It may not be the answer I expect, but at least it tells me what not to do next. Kena lah bersabar walau kena repeat the same exact experiments 10 kali pun. Huhu.

OK lah, cukuplah membebel. Enjoy my western blot yang tak berapa nak jadi ni. Next week I'll bounce again, pinky promise :P

9.6.12

A day to be remembered.

:P

June!

Submitted my first year report and review yesterday.

Alhamdulillah, I made it on time.

Hopefully my internal examiner likes it and would pass me to go on to the second year.

I'm now a free woman, at least until I got the date for my viva :P

What happened to 'What's cookin'?'

Entah lah labu, acik pun tak tahu.

Masa mula-mula buat 'What's cookin?' tu semangat bukan main. Siap amik gambar setiap step tu, pastu trus post. Sekarang gambar step-by-step kemana, recipe ke mana, tinggal gambar final product je. Tu pun masuk Facebook instead of post kat sini. Admittedly, blogging has seen better days. Dengan kewujudan telefon pintar dan kebanjiran 'apps' yang macam-macam rupa, maka 'habis madu sepah dibuang'. Walaupun wujud 'Blogger app' dan seangkatan dengannya, still tak menyelesaikan masalah sebabnya blogging kena bubuh words, walhal *aiceh* kalau guna Mobile Uploads atau Instagram mahupun Twitter hanya perlu upload gambar lalu terus berpegang pada prinsip 'A picture is worth a thousand words'. Blogging pun tak sampai 1000 words kadang-kadang. Maka jelaslah bahawa saya malas update blog.

Di kesempatan ini nak mengucapkan *macam nak raya daa* yang semua gambar-gambar makanan yang di upload di merata-rata tu bukanlah semuanya air tangan ku. Rezeki Allah bagi housemates yang pandai and suka masak *penting nak sebut dua-dua sebab ada orang pandai masak tapi malas, walaupun ini jarang* dan yang paling penting suka makan jugak. Sebabnya kalau kita masak beria-ria sekali diri sendiri makan semua balik gila down seh. Macam tak dihargai lol.

Kenapa upload gambar makanan? Lelaki suka complain perempuan suka sangat amik gambar makanan. Saja lah suka-suka. Amboi korang orang upload gambar depan cermin kata vain, upload gambar makanan mengata benda lain pulak. Janji tak keluar ayat geli 'Arini Ayang masak chicken chop  ilebiyu untuk Abang' sudaaaaaaah.

kthxbai!

Bell is ringing.

15 years ago, the only bells that mattered to us were one that marked the end of school session, and one coming from the ice cream vendor waiting just outside the school gate. We were running towards the second bell after hearing the first one. We got our favorite ice-cream and our mouths felt cold. Even if we didn't like the flavor we chose, we could always get home and ask Dad for a new one.

Today as I sat on my bed on a hot summer day, and heard the bell from an ice cream vendor driving around the neighborhood, I smiled. Gone are the days where we would run towards that bell. 

One that matters to us now is the imaginary bell, at least to us Muslim. As much as we want to run towards it, something huge is holding us back. The bell comes with responsibility. We get a different kind of cold this time- cold feet. And if we chose a wrong flavor, Dad is no help. All there is to do is to pray may Allah shows us the right way.

Update.

Assalammualaikum w.b.t

Back in the mood :)

So few updates from my last post:

1. Supervisor agreed to let me go home in August! And and I already bought the tickets!! Yay me! That's ermmm 3 months from now. It's gonna be a roller coaster ride for me for these 3 months-first year review and report to be submitted by June 1, first year viva probably in middle of June, mice immunisation sometime end of June (big experiment!) and a whole lot of little experiments in between. It's gonna be crazy but it's okay, come August I'm gonna have total relaxation, not even gonna think about work during my one-month holiday. Looking forward to go home, insyALLAH if dipanjangkan umur, something is going to happen this coming Raya :)

2. Reached another milestone in my PhD journey: gave my first departmental seminar last Tuesday. Alhamdulillah it went well :) My future internal examiner gave a good comment; actually I secretly dedicated this presentation to him so that when he assess me for my viva later, he's gonna be easy on me because he's seen it all. Basically what I presented is going to be in my report, so technically he could have assessed me then. The presentation gave me some confidence boost, now I feel like taking it to the next level:to give a presentation at an external conference.

3. It's good that we get about 15 hours of sunshine now. Syuruk is about 5 and Maghrib is almost 9. I don't feel the urge to go home sharp 5 now like last Winter. Pukul 4 dah gelap, hati pun bergelora je nak balik. Nowadays I stay back till about 7, qada time balik awal mase Winter dulu heh. But it's also gonna be my first time to fast for loooong hours this coming July. Dulu kat US ada chance nak try but every summer balik Malaysia, memang tak merasa lah. Bunyi macam lama gila kena puasa but Allah will certainly make it easy for us here :)

That's all folks.

Akhir kata, terimalah gambar Western blot ku yang jadi tak jadi ni. LOL

Random 56342

Salam,

If you think I'm gonna blog about PTPTN, you are wrong. Haha. Jarang nak cakap isu-isu sensitif ni tapi lepas tengok video budak-budak kurang cerdik berdemo kat Malaysia Ahad lepas, rasa panas je hati ni lalu terbitlah status kontroversi kat Facebook. I might not get apa yang diorang perjuangkan tu completely, but still cara diorang tu buat sakit hati, rendah sangat martabat mahasiswa Malaysia sampai pergi 'arwah'kan pemimpin sendiri. Isk isk isk. *eh kata tak nak cakap pasal PTPTN. Ampunnnnn*

I have to admit I have been lazy. Lazy to update this space I mean. Most of the time bila try masak benda baru ada je amik gambar and thought of sharing the pictures and recipes here, but entah kenapa keinginan ada kerajinan nada. 

Tonight terasa macam harus melakukan sesuatu yang bermanfaat. Lately I've been sleeping early, 9 or 10, then terjaga pukul 3-4 pagi, check Twitter Facebook Instagram chat seketul dua dengan orang kat Malaysia  sokseksoksek pastu tidur balik. Rasa sungguh tak sihat. So walaupun update blog dengan membebel tak tentu pasal adalah tidak berapa bermanfaat, ia lebih bermanfaat dari tidur, hence this post.

Life has been....what's the right word...has been....Alhamdulillah semua okay. Research berjalan, baca journal tak berapa jalan (hah type perkataan journal baru teringat kena baca journal utk Journal Club esok; might end this post shorter than I thought). The weather is getting warmer, yay! walaupun tiba-tiba haritu hujan+snow in April. My first year assessment is coming up in June, and since taktahulah bila blog ini akan diupdate lagi, mohon rakan taulan semua doakan saya pass the assessment tanpa sebarang masalah (as in re-viva atau re-write report dan lain-lain) so that I could go on to my second year. Nama first year assessment, tapi actually it'll just be 8 months this June.

InsyaALLAH, I'll be home bound in August, even though the initial plan was to celebrate Raya here and go home in December. I even have my spanking new baju raya in my luggage downstairs, konon siap-siap bawak baju raya sebab nak raya kat sini. Tapi kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan. When I checked the flight ticket for December, it was GBP800++ but if I were to go home in August it'll be GBP600++. Told Mama about the ticket price, then she said might as well go home during Raya since Ateh and Uncle Gary who are currently residing in Perth will be home for raya as well. It'll be fun with everyone around. So yeah, August it is then. Kesian Angah, had to bring forward his engagement as well because he wants his lovely little sister to be there to celebrate his happy day. Awwwwwhhhh. I feel the love :P

I wasn't sure if my supervisor would let me take a long break, but Alhamdulillah when I spoke to her the other day she was okay with the idea. It's just that I have to work really hard before I go home so that I could have some solid data for my research. Right now I'm a little worried I can't perform, but I'll try my best. Four months to all the heavenly and artery-clogging food jyeahhhhh!!

So that's the update from up here. Hope everyone down under is doing great and living life to the fullest :) Hope to see you in four months time, InsyALLAH.

All the best with whatever you are doing!