Anything for the sake of knowledge.

This post is long overdue, and I have to thank my mentor, Dr. Azizan Osman for finally making me write this post.

After much deliberation between me and H about going to any DAO's seminars, we finally settled for IMKK (Intensif Magnet Kejayaan dan Kekayaan) back in December 2015. Before that, while we were in the UK, we would watch DAO's videos on Facebook while having our meals (sebab situlah ruang tamu, situlah dining area, situlah office). Then we thought why not balik Malaysia nanti we go for his seminar. At that time, we went with zero expectation. We actually didn't know exactly why we went. Konon masa tu rasa business Kedai 1UK was doing well, we as a couple were doing well, so pergi IMKK macam just to test the water. Little that we knew, IMKK really opened up our minds about everything - life, business, connection with Allah and so many other things. 

We learned a lot from IMKK, but I must say we were not really good students because from 1000 things DAO taught us, we probably just practiced 1%, and one of them was to hire a permanent staff for K1UK. Before this, it was us who did EVERYTHING, from replying messages, taking orders, packing etc. Thank God we have H's family to help with the orders distribution once the items arrive in Malaysia. So whenever we went for a holiday or something, K1UK page would be unattended, which meant no sales. But Alhamdulillah things start to change once we hired the new admin. I must say she is a good one :) The best thing is, we gotta help add value to her life because she was unwillingly dismissed from her job. Since then, we got to go jalan-jalan or pergi kenduri without worrying about our beloved customers.

Why do I only share about us going to IMKK now? Ha, this is one of the 99% of ilmu yang DAO ajar but I didn't really practice. I still listened to 'suara budak kecik' or 'biawak biawak' kat luar sana yang made me skeptical to share about my experience. I thought nanti mesti orang ingat poyo ke ape ke, plus DAO pun ada controversies jugak kan..if you know what I mean. 

But after going to MMM (Millionaire Marketing Mastery) last week, things changed! I said to myself, no more hiding. I am gonna say it out loud that DAO is my mentor, and HE IS THE BEST MENTOR anyone could ask for. We paid for MMM right after IMKK ended, and were supposed to go to the January session. But something came up during that time, I think it was multiple friends' weddings during the weekend that we decided to postpone to another session. Then there was one in March, and we had to skip that one as well, I think sebab wedding jugak. Since we lived in the UK for 4 years and didn't get a chance to attend many family and friends' weddings, so it was payback time. Alhamdulillah we managed to go the May session (initially they said there is only one MMM session per year, I guess DAO just want to help more and more people hence more sessions).

I was 37+ weeks pregnant then and even I thought I could not last the whole time. Dah siap plan dengan H we might need to book a hotel room so that I could rest while he continued with the seminar. Mind you, IMKK and MMM are a three-days seminar, with the first two days being ~15 hours long (9 am to roughly midnight) and the last day from 9 am to about 6 pm. Alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan, 15 jam duduk atas kerusi takde sakit pinggang, cuma kaki je lah bengkak macam gajah kui3. Anything for the sake of knowledge.

OK macam dah panjang pulak. I'll continue with what I learned from MMM in my next post inshAllah.

Have a great weekend everybody :)

Passion fruit.

Entry pasal passion ni memang dah sebati dengan Nur Adilah. Kalau tak kat blog, kat Twitter. Membebel lah sorang-sorang pasal passion. Truth is, I think it will bother me until I have found my true passion. Every time I see somebody being/doing so good at something, I can't help to feel a little envious, in a good way of course. Kadang-kadang rasa macam adakah aku tak bersyukur sebab Allah dah kurniakan something for me to do (i.e. do PhD), but still I feel uncontented and envy orang yang buat benda lain yang macam lagi seronok je tengok (i.e. buat business out of the passion/hobby/something they really fond of ). Jumpa plak kat Twitter the other day orang put up that quote above. It got me thinking, 'Am I living the life I'm capable of living?' I felt so small. Rasa macam I haven't contributed enough to my family, my community, those in need, and most importantly myself. 

Erin gave me an article to read not too long ago about how rich people think. I found one that is the most outstanding, almost everyone knows what it is:

'Average people earn money doing things they don't love. Rich people follow their passion.'

Some people they know what their passion is and make a living with it. For example, the ever so famous Vivy Yusof. She knows she's into fashion and boom! there you have it FashionValet. Her right-wing woman Asma' Nasaruddin, the Head Buyer of FashionValet, those cakes she makes are such eye candies! A lovely lady I know from the blogosphere, ShilaShower, she has a day job but at night she is the lady behind those yummy diaper cakes. Another sweet mommy blogger, HanaFedora, who's currently doing her PhD in London (I think it's Imperial College), launched her shawl business L'adorn late last year, juggling between writing her thesis, taking care of her cute baby Wilwil and managing inter-continents business (she's in London but her business is based in Malaysia). What I respect about these ladies is that even though they come from well-off families, they not only have one job, but they are juggling two jobs! I am not sure if Vivy still work with her dad's company but at some point she must have had two jobs.

I am 'tangan bangku' (peribahasa I made up for 'orang takde seni'). So I give up doing arts long time ago. It's always 'tiru' and 'tekap' when it comes to art. I make edible food just enough to stuff my tummy. I can sing in the shower, and that's about it. I don't collect stamps, but I do keep shopping bags. See, I can't think of any passion of mine. Can you consider studying a passion? Am I pursuing my passion? Nah I don't think so. I am pursuing my DREAM because I've always known I want to have a PhD at some point in my life. A passion is something you can't wait to wake up to. There are times when I feel so lazy to wake up because I feel so down that my research is not going anywhere. Having a PhD and later being a lecturer would be my job no.1. But the greedy me wants to have that job no.2. 

But after all, we must believe in Allah's plan. There is a reason Allah put me here today and not baking in an all-pink cafe or signing autographs at a book launch or singing to cute little kids in a kindergarten. I hope one day I can update in here about my other job, other than teaching Immunology to some scientist-to-be in USM. InshaAllah.

To you readers who are currently pursuing your passion, I am still envious of :P (in a good way okay?) and I wish you all the best in your future undertakings. Let's make the world a better place to live no matter what we do, ey?

Till then.

**Updated: It's not about the money, it's not about being rich. Well if the passion comes with money, that's a bonus. Those people I mentioned above, they turned their passion into money, which is good. It's a bonus for them. But in my case, I can't even tell you what I'm passionate about. That's what the entry is all about. 

happy.com

I am generally a happy person. I believe, to be happy, it must come from you - how you shape your life, the decisions you make on a daily basis. It shouldn't depend on the surrounding, the people around you, the weather, how much money you have in your pocket yada yada yada.

I'd like to share these few tips with you about how I make myself happy, which you probably know already :P

1. Express love to your loved ones

I do this all the time, especially to my family and close friends. I go on Skype with my mom almost everyday. 'Sayang Adik' 'Sayang Mama' 'Love you Ma' 'Love you too baby' are common phrases to end our conversation.

Now, it's different with my father because he just doesn't talk very much. But whenever he passes Mama talking to me, he would stop and say, 'Hi baby!'. Yes, my parents still call me baby and I don't care at all, because that's how they show their love to me. And I love being 'gedik' with my dad by saying 'Love you Dadi' instead of the usual 'Ayah'.

I know a lot of people are finding it hard to express their love to their parents, which I find weird. Well I know you would say, 'Not saying I love you doesn't mean we love our parents any less than you do'. Yes I agree, but why can't you say it? Some say it's difficult because their parents don't really show/say/express it, so they feel shy to do the same. Well to me it should be a breeze, because I believe those love expressions are easily uttered when we were small. But why not now? What makes it so difficult? Weird, isn't it? I really wanna know why, if you could tell me in the comment box. 

With my close friends, sometimes we don't go by our names, but by 'Darling' 'Yang' 'Dear' 'Sayang' instead. It might seem small to you, but it makes a lot of difference, seriously. We feel more close, more intimate with each other. And with that it lets us to trust each other more. I really don't know how to explain this, but you should try. It's magic :P We don't have problems with saying 'Love you' or hugging each other (errr kissing to some small extent LOL). I know some people who are not comfortable being all 'mushy' with their friends, even best friends. Some people just don't like the 'touchy touchy' feelings. I guess you have to open up a little :P

Same goes to your crush. I know some of us girls are a little conventional about confessing to the guy. But hey, Imam Muda Asyraf pun cakap jodoh kena cari. It's not like you see a guy you like and you go to him and say, 'Hey I like you!'. There's so many ways around it. You can still be conventional, but with a little wit :P

Bottom line is, the more you express the love you have in your heart, it becomes bigger, and that allows you to have more room for love for other people. I hold the principle that, 'Life is short. If you don't say it now, you'll probably regret it once you lose that person because no one can be sure what could happen tomorrow'.

But you don't have to take my word for it, try it yourself. First with your parents :P Kalau kat crush/bf/gf beria cakap I love you I miss you bagai, but shy to say those to your parents, memang nak kena!!!

2. Celebrate little things in life.

I love to celebrate little things in life. I reward myself every time I achieve something, big or small. And the reward does not necessarily mean I have create a hole in my pocket, sometimes a bar of chocolate or a red velvet cupcake would do the trick :P

Being somewhat a joyful person, I love celebrations, of any kind - birthdays, parties, weddings, gatherings, reunions, a simple makan-makan, or even just an outing. It's hard for me to say 'No' because those mean 'happy time' for me so why should I avoid it?

To those wondering why I made a big fuss for not being able to attend my friends' weddings, or a kenduri of any kind, my answer is simple. It's not always we get to see and experience these beautiful things in life, and being someone who love celebrations, of course it's sad for me to not be able to come. But I am aware that this is the price I have to pay for being here, so takpelah, saya pasrah. InsyALLAH there'll be others that I could attend, kalau panjang umur. To my friends who are getting married this year, please know that I want to come so badly, but circumstances are not permitting :(

Actually there a few more I'd like to share, but this entry is longer that I intended it to be. Just two for now then :)

Let's log on to happy.com :)))

Two thousand twelve: R&R

No no, it's not Rehat dan Rawat.

It's Reflections and Resolutions.

Biasalah awal-awal tahun semua pun nak post pasal the year that has gone and the new year that has come.  Myself included. It's a good way for me to start writing again for I have forgotten how writing in here is actually a good mental therapy.

2011 was a pretty good year to me.

1. Started off with getting the offer letter from USM in December 2010 and spent three months after that looking for universities and PhD projects.

2. Resigned from my job at the most appropriate time in June and helped Mama with her business in July and August.

3. Embarked on my PhD journey at Nottingham in September.

4. Got my first nephew just last week.

5. Went through a series of heartaches *ayat nak gempak je kau*. Crushed on someone, and got crashed later.

6. Strengthen the bond with my girls.

7. Found new love. *ihiks*

On my way back to Nottingham from Birmingham Airport last weekend, I was looking at my nephew's picture on Facebook and then it hit me, how instant our lives can change, how time flies. I still remember the moment when my sister broke the news to me about her being pregnant, and now she's given birth to the cute lil boy named Raaid Riffqy. Then I reflect on how not grateful I am for all the good things that Allah has given me. I always complained to Mama that I don't have this and that. When I heard the news of someone getting married or having a baby I couldn't help being a little envious. I forgot that Allah has given me rezeki in another form. It might not be a life partner or a baby, but I am here halfway across the globe away from my family, doing my doctorate degree. Who knows those people whom I am envious of wish to be in my shoes right now. Manusia memang tak pernah puas. 'Grass is always greener on the other side' lah konon. I pray that I will be contented with what I have now and leave it to Allah to do the rest. Amin. Belajar bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, rezeki orang lain lain.

So for 2012, my resolutions would be..

1. To get married. 

Kidding! Baru je cakap biar Allah do the rest. Hehe. Actually it was in plan 4 years ago. My ex and I got together on 12.12.06 so we being 'gatal' planned to get married on 12.12.12 *sungguh tak matang*. Now dah tak jadi apa, bila fikir balik lawak lah pulak. After all 12.12.12 is on Wednesday, siapa nak datang majlis kau nyah?? But tell me siapa yang couple but not think about marrying that person, kan?  *Bila check calendar, sah tahun ni ramai orang kawin on 10.11.12 sebab hari Sabtu. Selamat pengantin baru in advanced lah ye!*

2. To be more disciplined. 

Doing a PhD is not merely about doing a novel research, writing that thick dissertation and attaining that 'Dr' title at the end. It is also about learning about yourself - how you manage time, plan your work, work-life balance, how to manage stress etc. I must admit I'm struggling with time management. Since there's no punch card or whatever system in placed, I could come and leave anytime I want. All this while, the one thing that keep me on the track is 'the stare and the mouth'. You know when you come in late, people give you this look macam you buat salah terbesar di dunia and when you leave early, you bump into someone and he/she would say, 'Is it 5 already?' Like seriously? But thanks to those people at least I try to come before 10 and leave after 4.30 :P But seriously I should and must do better than that so that I will finish on time, and reunited with my loved ones at the end of 2014. Amin.

I guess that's the only resolution for this year. Other than that it's same old same old, no need for a new year to be a better daughter, sister, aunt *this is new*, friend, and most importantly, a better Muslim. :)

Let's hold on to each other when the going gets tough, shall we?

Happy new year, everyone!

Terlampau melampau!

Salam,

Sigh.

Ye, tak elok mengeluh, tapi pasal ni kena mengeluh juga. 

Apa nak jadi la dengan artis-artis Malaysia ni. Teruk sangat dah jadinya. 

I admit, saya pembaca tegar BeautifulNara -___- But I don't expect to read about 'F*sha pergi event pakai bareback dress', 'Z*rina A*n Jo*lie amik gambar macam Kim Kardashian', or 'Nabil* H*da pakai bikini kat Pulau Tioman'. 

Melampau seh korang.

Seriously, apa masalah diorang ni? Last time I checked they are all Muslims. Berpada-padalah kalau taknak tutup aurat pun *I know this doesn't sound quite right sebab mmg kita WAJIB turut aurat but I hope you get my point*. Dulu kala takat nampak rambut je, now slowly semua benda nak tayang. Rasanya among artists ni, diorang ada pertandingan 'Who shows the most skin is the most popular' kot. 

Korang tu public figure kot, like or not, good or bad, people tend to follow you. Kalau good, baguslah. Contoh macam cerita 'Fash* gunakan scrub dari pati halia untuk kulit badan yang licin', atau cerita 'Zar*na A** J*ulie makan  2 kg sayur setiap hari untuk jaga kulit'. Ha kan bagus camtu, takde masalah kalau orang nak follow.

Ni korang pergi pakai tak senonoh tu, nanti anak perempuan Kak Temah tengok cakap 'Mak, boleh tak adik nak pakai dress macam F**sha pergi birthday party Sandha (bukan nama sebenar)'. Anak lelaki Kak Temah pulak duduk terperuk dalam bilik mengadap gambar Za*ina dalam magazine FHM. Naya naya.

But in all seriousness, sedih teramat sangat tengok perangai artis sekarang. Langsung tolak tepi soal agama. Astaghfirullahalazim. Orang lain berlumba-lumba sebarkan dakwah, at the same time, artis-artis ni berlumba-lumba tayang body. Makin lama makin teruk. Kalau bukan public figure, at least tersorok jugak la dosa korang buat tu, walaupun Allah nampak jugak. Ni public figure, beratus kali ganda orang tengok.

Kalau artis amik dadah kena gam dari TV for a period of time, why not kita gam artis-artis terlampau ni? Mungkin bila duit tak masuk poket baru sedar kot. 

Wordful Wednesday

A new place,  a new beginning.

Sounds cliche, right? But that's the truth, at least to me. I have been waiting for the opportunity to start anew. Last time when I decided to come back to Malaysia a year earlier than I was supposed to, I had my reasons. I wanted to leave that dark life I had in the States, and start a new chapter back home.

Now, I am in a totally new place, I am opening a new chapter of my life book. 

Being in a new place gives you a whole lot of different opportunities for you to play around with. But it all come down to, do you want to be better, or do you want to be worst? 

I choose to be better. InsyaALLAH.

You might ask why do you need a new place, just to better yourself? You can do it anywhere. Judgements, that's what I want to avoid. No, I'm not saying people back home are judgemental. I was the judge. I was being judgemental to myself. Something in me said it's hard, it's not doable. I was the staring eyes to my own self. 

Now that I'm in a new place, those staring eyes are no longer there. I am free to do what I want. The judgemental me is still here, but minus the staring eyes, I feel better about bettering myself, if that make sense.

I promise to myself, this new journey of mine, will not only reward me with the most sought-after title, but it will also bring me closer to my Creator. So when I come home in three years time, I will be the all-rounded person that PhD training should produce, and also a better Muslimah, InsyALLAH.

p/s: Tomorrow marks a month of me being here. Looking forward to the 35 months to come :) 

Answering the call.

Salam,

Being a minority makes you appreciate things more and teaches you to be grateful.

I'm very happy to know that there is a prayer room in the hospital I'm working at. It's spacious, clean, well-maintened and the best thing is it comes with a proper ablution area. In fact, in all 3 campuses of University of Nottingham, there is at least one Muslim prayer room. I'm yet to find out if they have prayer rooms in the shopping malls, but I kinda doubt that. If they do, MasyaALLAH that's the best thing ever!

Last time, when I was in the States, I used to pray in fitting rooms! That is one of the many experiences I won't forget. We would take a random baju and just go into the fitting room. Of course, we were smart enough to find a departmental store that is less famous, meaning not many people shop there, so people won't question why we used it for a long time. We did have our favorites, you know :P

Another experience that I won't forget is that one time where I had to pray on the stairs! I was on a trip to New York City, I was in Macy's if I'm not mistaken. I'm not sure what happened, either we couldn't locate a fitting room, or it was too crowded in there, but yeah we settled for stairs instead. We took turns, as we needed to 'guard' those who were praying. 

Solat duduk dalam kereta, solat berdiri atas jalan tar kat tepi pintu kereta, solat kat depan Hard Rock Cafe in Georgia bersejadahkan kertas, solat dekat tepi bush dekat Disneyland/Universal Studio-I've experienced all that.

And because performing ablution was very hard i.e sink is too high and people would stare if we put our feet in the sink etc, we normally would jaga our wudhu' for as long as we could. Siapa dapat tahan ken*** paling lama tu, memang champion lah :P

Moral of the story is, be grateful that we live in an Islamic country where we can practice your religion without any difficulties. Also, just because we are majority, does not mean the world revolves around us. Respect the minorities as well.

And most importantly, do not miss solat :) Note to self as well.

Had it easy...

Assalammualaikum..

Alhamdulillah I have safely arrived in Nottingham; endured the 13 hours flight, thanks to my previous experience of almost 24 hours flight to the States, 13 was pretty easy.

Before I came a lot of people have been telling me how I'm going to compare life in the States and in the UK, in which they prefer the States. But so far, I must say they are even. I hope I won't compare as much, because you know, why waste time comparing and complaining what you had before, and what you don't have. After all past is past, just live your present life lah kan?

But allow me to just make some points here. I've just moved into my permanent housing this morning. I know it's too early to make comparisons, but there are clear differences between what I had in the States, and what I'll have here in Notts. I'm just gonna sum up before I even lay out those points..

I clearly had it easy in the States.

1. Last time I lived in on-campus accommodation. Now I live about 20-minutes bus ride away from campus, and have to take two buses to reach campus. However, I chose to live here because my lab will be based in the City Hospital, which is just 2 mins away by bus, and 10 minutes walking.

2. I paid about $300 a month for accommodation in the States, inclusive of utility bills (water, electricity and internet). Here, the house is 450 pounds per month, shared with 4 people, utilities not included. Plus utility bills, I might pay up to 200 pounds per month. 

3. It makes a lot of difference if your rent is inclusive of utilities or not. Usage of heater during cold seasons really gonna poke a hole in your pocket, kalau tak berjimat. That said, I'm now typing this post with a sweater on, socks on, and I'm covered with duvet from head to toe. Reason? We want to save up on electricity bill so no heater until it's really really really cold. 

4. Last time, we had a laundry room outside the house. We had to share it with the whole community within the same housing complex. During winter, some of us even ran out of clothes to wear because we were so lazy nak redah sejuk and snow, so we waited until it's really really necessary to go out and do laundry. Here, the washing machine is in the kitchen, so yay! no problem during winter, but nayyyy we don't have a dryer! Now that sun is still shining, okay lah nak sidai baju dekat luar. I'm yet to figure out how I'm gonna dry my clothes during winter. Some said they just dry their clothes by hanging them on the heater. Hurrmmmm..

5. Oh about transportation, since I lived on-campus, transportation to the campus was FOC. I could also walk if I missed the bus. Now it's all different. I have to load some amount of money onto my Student Card to use as bus fare daily. I saw a promotional ads on-campus the other day, 179 pounds for all-year-long. Gonna catch the promotion before it ends.

That's pretty much it, so far. 

I'm not complaining, really. My friends from other unis back in the States, they had experienced all that. I guess me and my friends at RIT really had it easy. Now that I'm in their shoes, I'm thankful for the easiness Allah gave me before, and I'm even thankful that I get to have a totally different experience here. 

May I take the best out of this experience, InsyALLAH.

Blessed.

Salam,

Going to Notts alone is really tough, compared to going to the US for my undergraduate studies. While I was in INTEC, everything was prepared for you. Well not really, but there were people to tell you to do this, do that, take this, bring it there, go here etc. There was even a driver who took me to take my TOEFL in KL. Thank you OSSP team for making it so easy then.

This time, there's no more OSSP. No more the friendly Kak Zira OSSP, no more the helpful Encik Din. I have to do everything by myself. I have to KNOW everything myself. I must admit, it does get a little overwhelmed sometimes, to a point that I just go to bed wishing come morning, everything is settled. No, it  never happened.

But Alhamdulillah, Allah sent me these kind people to help me out with my preparation. These people are whom I just met. Some I just met online, but MasyALLAH, the good deeds they did for me, it's like we've been friends for years.

#1

Last week I had to attend a 5-day course in USM, Penang. Last time I came to USM for my interview, my mom and I stayed in a hotel, as it was very last minute and it was just a one night stay after all. But to stay in a hotel for 5 days, errrr maybe not. So I asked an acquaintance of mine, who I met during the interview at USM, if she'd be going. During our first meeting, we had a brief 10 minutes chat and exchanged phone numbers and that was it. So she said she'd be going, and she offered me to stay with her. How relieved I was to hear that. Though she stays in the hostel, with another girl, she still made a room for me; she even bought a new pillow for me. True act of kindness, that was. During the whole 5 days stay, she never made me go hungry :P Bila kat tempat orang, normally I would 'behave', if you know what I mean. But something about them (my friend and her bf) made me so comfortable about 'revealing my true self' *again, if you know what I mean*. Within 30 minutes of our meeting, they already know how I loooove food. Haha. Read between the lines.

#2

There is this 'abang' I came to know during my BTN course last June. I think each and everyone of us at the camp knows him, because of his friendliness. He went around the hall asking contact details from everyone. His initial intention was to look for someone who's going to UK with family, because he wanted to know the process for visa application. Now that his visa is approved, he is my reference. I must say he is very very helpful. I think he does a better job than any other guidelines I found on the net. All those knitty gritty details about the forms, and the whole process, he knows it all. He always have answers to my questions. He's willing to dig out his forms, e-mail me stuff just for the sake of helping me. He really doesn't have to do all that. For all he knows, he could just tell me to read the guidelines and say, 'Don't worry it's easy you'll be fine'. But no, he looked high and low for stuff for my easy reference. 

#3

I have never met her. We were introduced by an officer through e-mail, because apparently we both e-mailed the officer to look for potential roommate/housemate in Notts. From changing e-mails, we went to changing texts, then added each other on YM, and later of Facebook. At one time, I wasn't actively looking for accommodation because I was still waiting for confirmation from my sponsor I dare not prepared a lot. Finally when I got the confirmation, I messaged on her Facebook asking if she got a place already, and she said yes. A sister in Notts helped her arrange for accommodation. She then introduced me to this sister and voila! I got my accommodation arranged in 2 days. 

Last Saturday, Notts SEA Office organized a pre-departure briefing for incoming students. I was contemplating whether to go or not because I was lazy to take the 2+ hours KTM train and was even lazier to drive to KL on a Saturday. The night before, she YM-ed me asking if I'd be going to the briefing. I said probably not because I was in Seremban and I really didn't wanna drive. To my surprised, she said she was also in Seremban, at her parents' home. I've never known that fact of her, all I know is she is staying somewhere in KL because she works with BNM. Without hesitation, she immediately asked me whether I wanted to carpool with her and that she'd picking me up in front of Jusco Seremban. Memang rezeki Ramadhan. Semua benda dipermudahkan. Alhamdulillah.


I think I didn't do justice to these people. I could not articulate my thoughts very well. I'm 99.99% confident that these people won't find this blog of mine, but I must say, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP! You people made me feel so blessed. You have no idea how you have made my life easy with all the help. I really appreciate it.

Having all these kind people around me made me realize that, I should do the same to people around me.

To offer help without people asking.
To offer help without expecting anything.
To offer help because you have the ability and capacity to do it and you say to yourself, why not?

Sempena Ramadhan ini, let's reflect upon ourselves, have we been kind to people around us?

An act of kindness goes a long way.

Let's jom?

Kebiasaan.

Salam,

Tangan yang suka menconteng.
Kalau cakap telefon, pantang ada kertas depan mata.
Siap boleh tulis key points dalam conversation tu.
Bunga, daun, awan tak payah cakap.
Tu standard.

Ada lagi satu tabiat.
Kalau hati gelisah sangat, sedih sangat, nervous sangat, rasa macam tak keruan,
mesti tulis surat kat diri sendiri.
Motif? Nak bagi motivasi kat diri sendiri kot?
Benda yang terlalu picisan nak cerita kat orang, orang lain banyak lagi masalah lain nak fikir.
Jadinya, tulis la surat cinta tuju kat diri sendiri.
Surat kat atas tu, tulis masa tengah tunggu ERL, nak pergi KL Central dari Putrajaya.
Tak ingat nak pergi mana, jumpa siapa.
Yang pasti masa tu otak tengah bersepah, hati dup dap dup dap Allah saja yang tahu.

Bukan masa sedih je, masa terlalu gembira pun tulis jugak.
Tapi kan gembira tu sementara saja, lepas benda yang buat gembira tu jadi benda sedih,
terus koyak muka surat tu, buang dalam tong sampah.
Konon takmau lagi benda yang macam bodoh tu.
Tapi sebenarnya terlupa, walaupun sementara,
orang-orang/benda-benda tu pernah membahagiakan, walaupun seketika.
Terima kasih untuk itu.


Entry ini takde motif actually. Mungkin masa untuk tulis surat dah tiba.
Hati, bertabahlah.

Jodoh

Salam,

Lately, banyak nampak perbualan pasal jodoh. Tambah-tambah lagi sekarang musim orang bertunang and kahwin. Lagi lah hangat perbualannya. Keluar la ayat-ayat standard seperti....


'Wey dia dah bertunang OMG!'
'Eh cepatnya dia kawin!'
'Semua pakat-pakat kawin, aku boyfriend pun takde lagi'
'Bila lah sipolan bin sipolan ni nak kawin pulak?'

Normal kot at this age nak cakap pasal benda-benda tu. Setengah orang ckp muda lagi, buat pe nak fikir semua tu. Tapi tipu lah kalau takde terfikir langsung. Umur 23, 24, macam standard je nak cakap pasal jodoh, kan?


Tapi jangan sampai terbawa-bawa sudahlah. Sedih sangat orang kawin tapi dia tak kawin-kawin, sampai setiap kali jumpa orang dok cite, 'Sob3 sedihnya, aku boyfriend pun takde weyyy' Takpe kawan-kawan, yakinlah dengan janji Allah. Lambat atau cepat, itu semua dah ditetapkan :) Mungkin Allah nak bagi kita masa perbaiki diri, supaya kita dapat pasangan yang baik, macam ayat kat bawah ni.. 

"Allah menjanjikan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik. Yakinlah akan janji Allah, sesungguhnya Allah tidak memungkiri janji. Perbaikilah setiap inci kehidupanmu agar engkau termasuk di kalangan orang yang beroleh pasangan yang baik. Allah tahu tentang dirimu lebih daripada engkau sendiri. Maka Allah telah menetapkan untukmu lebih baik daripada apa yang engkau kehendaki. Boleh jadi engkau cintakan sesuatu tetapi ia buruk bagimu dan begitu juga sebaliknya."


*Actually ayat ni dah pernah post dalam blog lama, copy paste balik hihi*


Not sure datang dari mana ayat ni. Bila Google banyak pulak orang post. Kalau ade sesape yang tahu source asal nye, bagitau ek?


Kepada yang nak bertunang, atau melangsungkan perkahwinan, tahniah diucapkan :) Peliharalah hubungan anda dan pasangan dengan baik, begitu juga hubungan dengan Allah.






p/s: Maybe I'll do a shoutout to a friend of mine yang nak bertunang next week, once it's official :))

Kualiti atau kuantiti?

Persahabatan ni macam ada musim-musimnya. Mula-mula kita kenal, lama-lama jadi rapat gila. Lepak sama, makan sama, tidur pun kadang-kadang sama. Satu ketika, kita rasa macam dah kenal sangat lah dengan orang tu. Kamcing gila babeng, bak kata orang.

Lumrah hidup, setiap perkenalan, pasti berakhir dengan perpisahan. Masing-masing bawa haluan masing-masing. Bila sampai tempat baru, pusingan yang sama bermula. Kenal, rapat, bye-bye.

Dalam sepanjang perjalanan tu, pasti kita ada simpan satu, dua atau mungkin lebih, yang betul-betul dekat di hati. Orang sebut 'best friends'. Tapi apa jadi dengan yang lain? Yang dulunya pernah makan sama tidur sama gosip sama. 

Soalnya sekarang, perlukah ada 10 yang betul-betul dekat di hati, yang konon kawan sampai mati, atau perlu ada 100, yang kalau pergi mana pelosok negara pun, pasti akan jumpa sekurang-kurangnya satu, buat teman lepak sementara waktu.

Kualiti, atau kuantiti?

Saya tamak. Saya mahu kedua-duanya. Yang 10 itu, dan yang 100 itu. Tapi rasanya semua setuju, memang susah nak 'maintain' suatu persahabatan. Ya, yang 100 itu pun, takkan nak buat muka tak malu, tiba-tiba datang Melaka terus 'Eh aku dekat Melaka ni, boleh tumpang rumah kau tak?'. Pasti perlu buat kerja 'groundwork' dulu, iaitu 'maintaning the friendship'. 'I'm guilty!', itu yang saya boleh katakan. Cepat lupa diri, cepat sangat selesa dengan sesuatu, sampai terabai yang lain. Untuk itu, saya mohon maaf.

Bukan nak menuding jari, tapi persahabatan 'work two ways'. Ada persahabatan yang cuba diselamatkan, yang nampak macam nak kecundang. Tapi setakat manalah boleh berusaha, kalau sebelah pihak lagi hanya menunggu. Tunggu ditanya, tunggu diberitahu, tunggu diajak, tunggu tunggu tunggu. Komunikasi itu kan dua hala, kalau satu yang bercakap tot tet tot tet, satu lagi diam, yang bercakap tu lama-lama jadi penat, jadi bengang. Seolah-olah sebelah pihak lagi tiada minat nak selamatkan apa yang tinggal, macam tak kisah. Alasan sama diberi setiap kali, sampai bosan telinga mendengar. 'Macam busy je aku tengok ko, taknak la kacau' 'Oh nampak macam ko dah ada gang baru, siapalah kami ni' Arghhhh alasan alasan. 

Ada sebab kenapa 10 itu 10, dan 100 itu 100. Yang 10 itu sama-sama berusaha, bekerja. Yang 100 itu, mungkin hanya satu yang berusaha, atau dua-dua berusaha cukup makan. Memang perlu ada yang 100 itu, sebab kalau ada 100 'best friends' orang kata gila pulak. Tapi yang sedih, kalau yang dari 10, masuk ke 100.

Orang kata kita tak boleh dapat semua yang kita nak. Itu yang kita tak boleh kawal, tapi persahabatan? Semua ditangan kita. Kita boleh pilih siapa kita nak kenal, siapa kita nak rapat, siapa kita nak bye-bye.

Terpulanglah pada diri masing-masing. Nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih.

DESTINY.

Salam,

I have been thinking about this for quite sometime. I have observed people, and more importantly I have reflected upon myself.

I haven't read 'The Secret' (boo me!). Wait, I curi-curi read one chapter in Kinokuniya the other day. If I'm not mistaken it's about positive and negative thoughts. *Maybe it's time for me to finally read it* But I agree with what they try to convey in the book: 

"You are the master of your own destiny"

It's all in our minds. Whatever we decide to be or to do today, that decision will shape our future. And that decision can be about anything. Everything.

Let say for example, you want to open a mee goreng stall. You have a special recipe that you inherit from your great grandmother. You believe it'll be a good business because everybody around you has been saying it's the best mee goreng that they have ever tasted. Now question is, what kind of business you want it to be? How far you want to take it? Nak jual depan rumah je or nak bukak kedai? Kadang-kadang I feel sad looking at some Malay businesses, ones that I think have a lot of potential to go further, but then they settle for ala-kadar je. Bukak kedai pun macam takde effort, no deco, tak bersih etc.

You see, if in day 1 you decide to be mediocre, mediocre you will be. If you let your mind into thinking, 'I want to open mee goreng restaurant chains', your brain will process that dream, and work around that dream. All your subsequent thoughts and actions will be tailored towards that dream. Some people are afraid to think big, or simply they think it's not feasible. That's why there is this saying:

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss it, you'll land among the stars"

It is okay to dream big. Even bigger than you thought you could do. Because you won't know how capable you are, until you try it yourself.

And again this is applicable to almost everything. 

You make decisions everyday, big or small. Small decisions, like what to eat may not affect you so much. But big decisions like what kinda job you want to look for after you graduate, you cannot simply say, 'Oh takpelah, duduk rumah setahun dulu, lepas tu baru fikir'. Think big, and be specific if you could, so that you have a vivid picture in your mind, making it easy for your brain to work that thought out. Oh I do that all the time. All the berangan-angan, I love it. Haha. 

Here's another example:

You completed your degree in local uni, but you so want to study abroad. You want to experience how it feels like to experience different cultures, different lifestyle, different climate altogether. But you feel you're not gonna achieve it because your English is not that good, and there's no way your family can fund your studies there. So what do you do? Do you just sit and wait for it to happen? It's not gonna happen, I tell you. If you decide that's what you want, work it! Look for funding opportunities, brush up your English etc. SET YOUR GOAL AND WORK TOWARDS THAT GOAL. Rezeki tak datang bergolek, yo!

What brings me to write this entry?

Because I feel so geram looking at people who don't want to majukan diri sendiri, cepat rasa selesa, and worst, DO NOT BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES.

POSITIVE THINKING, that's what we need. If you keep on saying 'No, I can't do this' 'I don't think I'm good enough' 'Naahh, cannot lah', your brain register those negative thoughts, then you gonna achieve nothing.

We must be fluid with our lives. Constantly moving. Not to sit one place for a long time and hoping that miracle happens.

Let's together change how our brains think, and together we achieve our dreams :)))



p/s: I may sound like a crazy woman membebel-bebel up there but I hope you gain something :)

Happy things are meant to be shared.

Salam,

I received so many good news lately and I'm over the moon. 

1. My dear friend Aisyah is coming back from the States for a short break in May. Can't wait to see her again after so long. Girl, you better be prepared with gossips updates.

2. KULN NY-NJ is organizing Summer Camp again this year. I hope I will be available at that time to join. Previous Summer Camp was a huge success and I just feel so happy that I can contribute again.

3. This morning, I received an e-mail from Uni. of Nottingham saying that I've been accepted for their PhD program. Alhamdulillah. And I e-mail the Dean from USM asking him to approve my uni selection, and within 10 minutes he replied, 'Go ahead with Nottingham'. Alhamdulillah. Terlalu gembira.

4. Just done with an interview with Uni. of Manchester for my PhD application. MasyaALLAH, as I was writing this, I received an e-mail saying that both professors who interviewed me just now want me in their labs. Alhamdulillah, syukur Ya Allah. I feel guilty though, because I have tentatively accepted Nottingham's offer. I'll see what I can do about this.

The reason why I'm sharing all these news about my PhD application, is really not to 'menunjuk-nunjuk'.  There is a chance that I might not go to any of these unis, because KPT (Ministry of Higher Education) still has to approve me. They can turn around and say 'Sorry, we have no funds for you to send you abroad, please find a local uni to do your PhD at'. If that happened (God forbid), I'll still be sharing the bad news here.

I also find people being very secretive about what their jobs are and where they are working at. I respect their personal rights, however, I'm thinking about it in a different way. I always feel I want to share what I do with my friends and my juniors, because I'm hoping that they will learn from me, both from my achievements and my mistakes, and to learn from what I did, and did not do. Yes, there were times when I was being secretive, because I felt inferior that I was just volunteering at Petrosains with RM5 pay per hour, while other friends are earning RM2K a month doing things they love, and related to their studies. But heck, what was I thinking? Rezeki comes from Allah and what I did was nothing bad that I should be ashamed of.

Me writing/sharing all these, is just to inspire you people, and to offer help should you be in the same situation sooner or later. Because this is what I found from other bloggers, INSPIRATION. I have been a silent reader to many blogs, who tell the story of their PhD journey, career life and so on. I wish I can be a bit of a help to others by sharing a piece of my life here.

Here's to many more happy things in our lives! :))

Hujan.

Salam,

Petang ni hujan sangat lebat.
Driving in almost zero visibility.
Pernah sekali drive camtu, drive dalam kabus, dari Pennstate ke Pittsburgh.
Obviously, not me driving.

Cuak punya pasal, tutup radio.
Berzikir tak henti.
Nasib semua bawak kereta berhemah.
Dalam hati dok cakap, janganlah nampak accident.
Cukuplah last week tengok fatal accident, siap nampak deceased body dalam plastik hitam.

Bila masuk simpang Putrajaya, teringat hari ni hari Selasa.
Patut ada pasar malam.
Sayu je hati kenangkan kesian orang meniaga pasar malam, malam ni.
Memang tak boleh bukak kedai langsung, hujan lebat sangat.
Kalau hujan sikit-sikit, boleh lah lagi gigih bukak kedai.
Yang jual baju takpe lagi, entah-entah malam ni meniaga kat Downtown Cheras plak.
Yang meniaga lauk-lauk, nasi ayam bagai, rugi macam tu je.
Kalau jap lagi hujan berhenti pun, mungkin tak ramai akan beli, sebab sure fikir lauk dah masuk air hujan.

Entry ni takde motif sebenarnya.

Relate.

Salam,

So I aimed to finish reading Eat Pray Love (I'm so last year, I geddit!) this weekend. Guess how long have I been reading it? Ermmmm I think since December. Lembab macam siput. 

What happened to your 'a book a month', Dila? Truth is, I've been lazy. *Guilty!*

I know what you are going to ask me next. 'Have you watched the movie?'

My answer is, No. When it comes to adaption movies, I prefer to finish reading the novel before watching the movie.  You know when you read books, you kinda create your own visualization of the characters, settings etc. That's why I prefer to watch movie later, because I want to compare my visualization with the movie. Get what I mean?

That's not the purpose of this entry, actually.

When you read any books, do you find yourself nodding to some situations portrayed in the book, that you want to tab that particular page or even highlight those particular sentences, and wish to come back to it to analyze it further? You feel like you can really relate to what is being told by the author, either because you have had similar experience, or simply because you think he/she is right about that thing.

It happens to me all the time. So far, the books that have the most tabs are 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom and 'Showing Up For Life' by Bill Gate Sr.

I just tabbed this one page from Eat Pray Love'

".....because I seriously believed David was my soul mate"

"He probably was. Your problem is that you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they can tear your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave."

This is one of the many definitions of soul mate, I guess.

According to this definition, I think I've met mine.

Have you?

One side is working hard to make everything happen, while the other side is just waiting for something to happen.

Yes, things can happen.

But not for long, my dear.

Once that one side is exhausted, the ball now is in your court.

You decide.