Passion fruit.

Entry pasal passion ni memang dah sebati dengan Nur Adilah. Kalau tak kat blog, kat Twitter. Membebel lah sorang-sorang pasal passion. Truth is, I think it will bother me until I have found my true passion. Every time I see somebody being/doing so good at something, I can't help to feel a little envious, in a good way of course. Kadang-kadang rasa macam adakah aku tak bersyukur sebab Allah dah kurniakan something for me to do (i.e. do PhD), but still I feel uncontented and envy orang yang buat benda lain yang macam lagi seronok je tengok (i.e. buat business out of the passion/hobby/something they really fond of ). Jumpa plak kat Twitter the other day orang put up that quote above. It got me thinking, 'Am I living the life I'm capable of living?' I felt so small. Rasa macam I haven't contributed enough to my family, my community, those in need, and most importantly myself. 

Erin gave me an article to read not too long ago about how rich people think. I found one that is the most outstanding, almost everyone knows what it is:

'Average people earn money doing things they don't love. Rich people follow their passion.'

Some people they know what their passion is and make a living with it. For example, the ever so famous Vivy Yusof. She knows she's into fashion and boom! there you have it FashionValet. Her right-wing woman Asma' Nasaruddin, the Head Buyer of FashionValet, those cakes she makes are such eye candies! A lovely lady I know from the blogosphere, ShilaShower, she has a day job but at night she is the lady behind those yummy diaper cakes. Another sweet mommy blogger, HanaFedora, who's currently doing her PhD in London (I think it's Imperial College), launched her shawl business L'adorn late last year, juggling between writing her thesis, taking care of her cute baby Wilwil and managing inter-continents business (she's in London but her business is based in Malaysia). What I respect about these ladies is that even though they come from well-off families, they not only have one job, but they are juggling two jobs! I am not sure if Vivy still work with her dad's company but at some point she must have had two jobs.

I am 'tangan bangku' (peribahasa I made up for 'orang takde seni'). So I give up doing arts long time ago. It's always 'tiru' and 'tekap' when it comes to art. I make edible food just enough to stuff my tummy. I can sing in the shower, and that's about it. I don't collect stamps, but I do keep shopping bags. See, I can't think of any passion of mine. Can you consider studying a passion? Am I pursuing my passion? Nah I don't think so. I am pursuing my DREAM because I've always known I want to have a PhD at some point in my life. A passion is something you can't wait to wake up to. There are times when I feel so lazy to wake up because I feel so down that my research is not going anywhere. Having a PhD and later being a lecturer would be my job no.1. But the greedy me wants to have that job no.2. 

But after all, we must believe in Allah's plan. There is a reason Allah put me here today and not baking in an all-pink cafe or signing autographs at a book launch or singing to cute little kids in a kindergarten. I hope one day I can update in here about my other job, other than teaching Immunology to some scientist-to-be in USM. InshaAllah.

To you readers who are currently pursuing your passion, I am still envious of :P (in a good way okay?) and I wish you all the best in your future undertakings. Let's make the world a better place to live no matter what we do, ey?

Till then.

**Updated: It's not about the money, it's not about being rich. Well if the passion comes with money, that's a bonus. Those people I mentioned above, they turned their passion into money, which is good. It's a bonus for them. But in my case, I can't even tell you what I'm passionate about. That's what the entry is all about. 

The chills.

Bila nak kahwin ni soalan yang orang selalu tanya, 'Dah ready ke nak jadi isteri orang?' My usual answer is 'Entahlah'. Sama macam bila nak ambil exam. Sebelum masuk dewan sure ada member tanya, 'Ko dah ready ke?' Serba salah tahu tak nak jawab. Kalau jawab 'Dah ready!' nanti sure kena label 'berlagak'. Kalau jawab 'Weh aku tak ready dowh, semalam half way study aku tertidur, subuh tadi baru jaga'. Lepas tu bila results keluar dapat 95, kawan yang tanya tadi dapat 78 and akan cakap, 'Gila lah kau tak sempat habis study pun 95, aku yang tak tidur semalam dapat B je'. Tak pasal-pasal jadi gila pulak. Ha dah tu kena label 'Nak cover la tu cakap tak habis study padahal genius'. See, serba salah tahu tak??

Truth is, we can never be ready for anything, unless we go through it. Lepas tu baru lah tahu sebenarnya ready ke tak. 

When Mama came to visit the other day, that was one of the things she asked me. My answer was 'No, I am not!' I could list 100 of things that I need brushing up, but even if I practice/find ways to overcome the 100 things, there will be 100 things more on my plate.

I told my mom, before the ceremony, I need to practice my 'siang ikan' skill. Not that I don't know how to siang ikan *defensive mode*, it's just that the ikan I siang is always not pretty (dasyat nya grammar kau). They will turn out clean and edible *of course* but tak sedap mata memandang. Get what I mean?

Another thing of my concern, 'apa nak masak kat rumah mertua nanti?'. My cooking skills are really basic, janji untuk selamat perut sendiri. I call it masakan bujang LOL. Specialty dish pun belum ada. Kalau at least ada satu dua yang terror gila kalau masak confirm sedap, ok lah jugak. Kalau tiba-tiba mak mertua suruh take over the kitchen boleh berpeluh just thinking what to cook, belum start masak lagi. Tambah nervous Harris has a big family, kalau tak sedap mana nak letak muka??

That's just two out of hundreds.

But I guess, mana yang boleh brush up tu, boleh la kan nak start from now.  But as we go along, we will learn how to deal with things and masa tu lah kita jadi ready. There and then. Moral of the story, we can stop asking the areyouready question because no one knows. Instead, kita doakan orang yang nak kahwin tu dapat mengharungi cabaran dan dugaan after kahwin seperti siang ikan depan mak mertua dengan jayanya :P

Bell is ringing.

15 years ago, the only bells that mattered to us were one that marked the end of school session, and one coming from the ice cream vendor waiting just outside the school gate. We were running towards the second bell after hearing the first one. We got our favorite ice-cream and our mouths felt cold. Even if we didn't like the flavor we chose, we could always get home and ask Dad for a new one.

Today as I sat on my bed on a hot summer day, and heard the bell from an ice cream vendor driving around the neighborhood, I smiled. Gone are the days where we would run towards that bell. 

One that matters to us now is the imaginary bell, at least to us Muslim. As much as we want to run towards it, something huge is holding us back. The bell comes with responsibility. We get a different kind of cold this time- cold feet. And if we chose a wrong flavor, Dad is no help. All there is to do is to pray may Allah shows us the right way.

Random 56342

Salam,

If you think I'm gonna blog about PTPTN, you are wrong. Haha. Jarang nak cakap isu-isu sensitif ni tapi lepas tengok video budak-budak kurang cerdik berdemo kat Malaysia Ahad lepas, rasa panas je hati ni lalu terbitlah status kontroversi kat Facebook. I might not get apa yang diorang perjuangkan tu completely, but still cara diorang tu buat sakit hati, rendah sangat martabat mahasiswa Malaysia sampai pergi 'arwah'kan pemimpin sendiri. Isk isk isk. *eh kata tak nak cakap pasal PTPTN. Ampunnnnn*

I have to admit I have been lazy. Lazy to update this space I mean. Most of the time bila try masak benda baru ada je amik gambar and thought of sharing the pictures and recipes here, but entah kenapa keinginan ada kerajinan nada. 

Tonight terasa macam harus melakukan sesuatu yang bermanfaat. Lately I've been sleeping early, 9 or 10, then terjaga pukul 3-4 pagi, check Twitter Facebook Instagram chat seketul dua dengan orang kat Malaysia  sokseksoksek pastu tidur balik. Rasa sungguh tak sihat. So walaupun update blog dengan membebel tak tentu pasal adalah tidak berapa bermanfaat, ia lebih bermanfaat dari tidur, hence this post.

Life has been....what's the right word...has been....Alhamdulillah semua okay. Research berjalan, baca journal tak berapa jalan (hah type perkataan journal baru teringat kena baca journal utk Journal Club esok; might end this post shorter than I thought). The weather is getting warmer, yay! walaupun tiba-tiba haritu hujan+snow in April. My first year assessment is coming up in June, and since taktahulah bila blog ini akan diupdate lagi, mohon rakan taulan semua doakan saya pass the assessment tanpa sebarang masalah (as in re-viva atau re-write report dan lain-lain) so that I could go on to my second year. Nama first year assessment, tapi actually it'll just be 8 months this June.

InsyaALLAH, I'll be home bound in August, even though the initial plan was to celebrate Raya here and go home in December. I even have my spanking new baju raya in my luggage downstairs, konon siap-siap bawak baju raya sebab nak raya kat sini. Tapi kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan. When I checked the flight ticket for December, it was GBP800++ but if I were to go home in August it'll be GBP600++. Told Mama about the ticket price, then she said might as well go home during Raya since Ateh and Uncle Gary who are currently residing in Perth will be home for raya as well. It'll be fun with everyone around. So yeah, August it is then. Kesian Angah, had to bring forward his engagement as well because he wants his lovely little sister to be there to celebrate his happy day. Awwwwwhhhh. I feel the love :P

I wasn't sure if my supervisor would let me take a long break, but Alhamdulillah when I spoke to her the other day she was okay with the idea. It's just that I have to work really hard before I go home so that I could have some solid data for my research. Right now I'm a little worried I can't perform, but I'll try my best. Four months to all the heavenly and artery-clogging food jyeahhhhh!!

So that's the update from up here. Hope everyone down under is doing great and living life to the fullest :) Hope to see you in four months time, InsyALLAH.

All the best with whatever you are doing!

Cerita Kedai Kopi

Salam,

Bulan puasa tahun lepas, si hati kecil ada berbisik, kononnya nak start pakai skirt all the time, meaning bila keluar dating outing, no more jeans, but nak jadi gadis ayu pakai skirt huhuhu. 'Jeans diet' lah kononnya. Hasrat si hati kecil tu rasanya berjaya jugak la sepanjang bulan puasa tu, dan berterusan sampai bulan raya. Berbekalkan skirt yang dibeli online dan cotton tees from Uniqlo, maka gigihlah hati kecil ni meneruskan niat. Actually, masa dua-dua bulan tu takde lah keluar sangat, sebab masa tu dah menganggur (tunggu masa nak fly) and duduk dengan parents kat Seremban. Keluar pun bila pergi hantar kuih raya kat Putrajaya/Bangi, hantar borang KPT, pergi buka puasa dengan rakan taulan and orang office Ayah dan maybe ada lah berapa kali pergi Jusco Seremban 2 (sebab depan rumah). Lepas tu bulan raya pulak, of course beraya pakai baju kurung, lepas tu (eh berapa banyak lepas tu daaa) pergi cousin kahwin kat Terengganu memang pakai skirt je. Masa tengok Yuna kat MPO tu pun pakai sebab memang kena pakai ala-ala formal gitew. Itu cerita bulan puasa dan raya.

Yuna's MPO Concert

| A-cut skirt RNR Collection | Lacey top Forever 21 |

| Cardigan Romp | Pashmina Reject Shop |

Niat si hati kecil nak teruskan azam tu sampailah ke bumi United Kingdom ni. Namun, apakan daya, sampai-sampai cuaca sejuk sekali dan angin tak mainlah sepoi-sepoi, takut nanti jadi macam Marilyn Monroe lah pulak (read: alasan no.1). Lepas tu (lagi?) rasa macam too dressy lah pulak nak pakai skirt pergi office/lab tetiap hari (read: alasan no.2). Padahal dressy amende, macam makcik je adalah. Konon amik inspirasi dari Shea Rasol, but she looks like a goddess while I look like makcik jual ikan. Huhuhu.

Alasan alasan.

Bila cuaca kembali mengizinkan, lalu bersoraklah si hati kecil ni sebab dapat pakai skirt balik. Tak jamin lagi dapat berterusan, tapi takpe baby step, baby step. 'Rome wasn't built in a day' :))

| Maxi skirt (brown) Shop SputnikSweetheart | Top Primark | Shawl H&M |

| Maxi skirt (grey) Shop SputnikSweetheart | 

| Crop tee & black inner Primark | Shawl Arab mari |

| Maxi skirt ThePopLook | Top Primark | Shawl Uniqlo |

p/s: Doakan si hati kecil ni istiqamah ye, dan semoga niat nya betul :)

Bimbo-ism.

Salam,

Satu perbualan telah berlaku di antara dua strangers. Kedua-duanya sedang mengikuti kursus. Si penulis memang memakai topi 'skema' sepanjang kursus kerana perangai sebenar tidak boleh ditunjukkan atas sebab-sebab tertentu.

Sewaktu minum pagi, di atas meja makan..

Kakak sebelah: Nama siapa?

Penulis: Adilah. Akak? School mana?

Kakak sebelah: ****. *school apatah tak ingat, pergigian termaju ke ape tah* Awak school mana?

Penulis: School Bio *Penulis sudah mula belajar gaya-gaya cakap budak USM*

Kakak sebelah: Oh, dulu degree dekat USM ke? Ni nak sambung Master ke PhD?

Penulis: Oh tak, saya dulu degree kat US. Nanti nak sambung PhD.

Kakak sebelah: Oh, awak la yang...

Penulis: *menyengih* Ye, saya lah tu. *ya, tanpa disedari penulis agak famous di kursus itu kerana nama di point hari pertama, talk yang pertama -___-*

Motif entry ni baru nak masuk ni. Atas tu baru mukadimah.

Kakak sebelah: Oh, saya ada sedara belajar dekat US jugak. Tapi taktahu pulak uni mana.

Penulis: Oh yeke? Nama apa? Kot-kot la kenal.

Kakak sebelah: Fauzana.

Penulis: Ha?? Fauzana apa? *sambil memegang tangan Kakak sebelah, tanda topi 'kpochi plus bimbo' bakal disarungkan*

Kakak sebelah: Fauzana Kasim.

Penulis: OMG OMG SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE'S LIKE MY SUPER BESTFRIEND. *dengan sebelah tangan lagi menutup mulut ala-ala gaya bimbo terkejut* Ya Allah keciknya dunia. *sambil tangan masih memegang tangan Kakak sebelah*

Dan perbualan itu berterusan. Rupa-rupanya Kakak sebelah turut mengenali Hawa, Farid Halim dan Hasrizul *nama seperti yang disebut Kakak sebelah* kerana mereka semua alumni SERATAS.

Sigh.

Moral of the story, jadilah diri sendiri. Tak payah lah nak control ayu.

Muahahahahaha.

Ring Galore

Salam,

Hi blogosphere~

It's been awhile. 

Watched Harry Potter today! Oh man, even I felt sad that it is the last one. I can't imagine how those hardcore fans feel about it. I must say this last installment is the best of all. I don't remember giggling to jokes in the previous ones. This last one has it all. 

*

Such a butter finger I have. I keep losing my rings! Last weekend I went strolling at the mall with Pao and the girls, and found this whole ring shelves in Parkson. Oh we were jumping all over! (exaggeration) 

So today, we went again and told ourselves WE.MUST.GET.ONE! Thing is, it was so hard to CHOOSE.ONLY.ONE. I had my eyes on these four, and guess which one I bought? Thank you Pao for giving me the RM10 voucher. Hihi. I am one happy girl :) *I still wish to buy another three, though. Talking about being greedy and unnecessary. Sigh*

Pic credit to Pao.

Toodles, for now!

P/S: I am yet to post about the Relay For Life event I participated last weekend.

Kebiasaan.

Salam,

Tangan yang suka menconteng.
Kalau cakap telefon, pantang ada kertas depan mata.
Siap boleh tulis key points dalam conversation tu.
Bunga, daun, awan tak payah cakap.
Tu standard.

Ada lagi satu tabiat.
Kalau hati gelisah sangat, sedih sangat, nervous sangat, rasa macam tak keruan,
mesti tulis surat kat diri sendiri.
Motif? Nak bagi motivasi kat diri sendiri kot?
Benda yang terlalu picisan nak cerita kat orang, orang lain banyak lagi masalah lain nak fikir.
Jadinya, tulis la surat cinta tuju kat diri sendiri.
Surat kat atas tu, tulis masa tengah tunggu ERL, nak pergi KL Central dari Putrajaya.
Tak ingat nak pergi mana, jumpa siapa.
Yang pasti masa tu otak tengah bersepah, hati dup dap dup dap Allah saja yang tahu.

Bukan masa sedih je, masa terlalu gembira pun tulis jugak.
Tapi kan gembira tu sementara saja, lepas benda yang buat gembira tu jadi benda sedih,
terus koyak muka surat tu, buang dalam tong sampah.
Konon takmau lagi benda yang macam bodoh tu.
Tapi sebenarnya terlupa, walaupun sementara,
orang-orang/benda-benda tu pernah membahagiakan, walaupun seketika.
Terima kasih untuk itu.


Entry ini takde motif actually. Mungkin masa untuk tulis surat dah tiba.
Hati, bertabahlah.

Nerdy mom.

Salam,

Choosing the right gifts to give to people on their special day is a difficult task, for me at least. It becomes a  'chore' when the gifts are for kids. You would think otherwise, because they are kids after all. They play with their toys day in and day out. Just pick any fancy toys and they sure will love it. How difficult can it be, right? Haha. It's me who is being difficult actually. I don't believe in giving toys to kids. Toys are fine, but must be educational ones. Not some action figures, or cars, or armor and sword, and whatnot. If the toy car involves dismantling and assembling work, then that's fine. It makes the kids think. I'm talking about the kind of toy car where kids just go 'vroom vroom' and move the car from point A to point B and that's it. Pointless, that's my point.

See, I stop reading comics and watching cartoons at a very early age (you must be thinking what a boring childhood this poor girl had). Maybe that's why I'm not creative. I find it hard to imagine things. No offense, but I think Shin Chan is rude, and his scale compared to his parents just don't make sense. He is shorter than his parents' knees. Haha, ketinggian pun aku nak pick out. Truth is, I can't stand stupid jokes. 

So yeah, I believe that kids tidak sepatutnya disogokkan dengan a lot of toys, cartoons and comics. That's why I find it hard to look for gifts for kids. The gifts must meet certain criteria - must be educational, won't impart negative effects, can be use for a long time, bla bla bla bla. I told my friends once in high school, that I won't allow my kids to watch cartoons and comics. I'll just buy them books and they have live with that. Hahaha. Habislah anak-anak aku semua nerd. Hopefully the father will balance it all out :P 

I went to look for gifts today, for my cousins - a 3 year-old Arif Arman and a 12-year old Ameera Liyana. We are having a birthday party for them tomorrow. First I went to MPH; I thought of getting Ameera some exercise books to prepare her for UPSR.  For Ayip, I thought of getting him a storybook set. The hardcover ones, lepas tu ade 3-4 dalam satu kotak. I used to have that when I was small, so I thought it would be a perfect gift for him. I bought the exercise books, but couldn't find the storybook set. 

Then I went to Parkson. Looking at the storybook section, sigh, so kasihan. Not only there are so little books, but also they are all dusty! I wonder how long they have been there. Sampai berhabuk takda orang beli.

Then I came across the school supplies section and found these handphone case/cover thingy. Really? Yeah I know kids nowadays tadika pun parents dah kasi pakai handphone, but don't encourage it by selling handphone covers at the kids section. Isk isk isk.

Here's another thing. Why must you include pictures of Power Rangers la, Ultraman la, Dragon Ball la in ABC 123 books? Why? Whyyyyyyy? OK, maybe you think it's to gain their attention. When kids see the Power Rangers, they would become attracted to the book and masa tu lah parents start to teach them sikit-sikit ABC 123. Kalau plain je, boring ye dak? Sigh. Parents kena ambil kelas belajar cara untuk ambil perhatian anak-anak ni. Sampai kena guna Power Rangers to allure their kids to learn.

Tak rasa ke kemunculan Power Rangers tu macam out of nowhere? 

Kalau si anak tanya kenapa ada Power Rangers kat situ, mak nak jawab apa?

Luckily, I found a decent section of puzzles. Lega hati mak, nyah.  Ada juga benda ilmiah kat sini. I spent a good 10 minutes staring at the puzzles, and contemplating which one to buy. Of course I have to opt for 2+ years puzzles, even though I'm itching to get those for 5+ and 6+ years.

Then it came to these two, ABC or 123? I thought of buying both, but macam mahal sangat la pulak (being cheapies). I thought, 'takpelah, nanti parents die boleh beli juga'. So I ended up with the alphabets, it came down to the number of puzzle pieces - alphabets ade 52 pieces, numbers ade 40 pieces :P

The search didn't end there. I was concern about being labeled a boring cousin, yang just tahu suruh orang belajar belajar and belajar, so I went to Lovely Lace to get Ameera another gift. During my high school, tak ingat for which birthday, my adik angkat gave me a jewelry cum music box from LL. I still have it until today. So I went to LL to look for it, nasib diorang ada jual lagi. I bought one for Ameera. Hope she likes it :)

Sebelum keluar, my eyes were fixed to these two teddies. Sangat adorable! A couple teddy. Siap ada junior teddy lagi. Awwwwhhh~ Don't worry I didn't waste my RM67 for it. But so comel I cannot tahan!  Maybe I'll drop by LL before the sale ends to get them both. Gotta grab that 10% yo! Hahaha

Moral of the story is, my dear friends, don't expect me to give some extravagant toys to your kids later k. I'm gonna stick to books, and puzzles and the like. Tee hee hee. But please, come to my kids' birthday parties with toys, so that my kids won't grow being boring and nerdy. Kesian dapat mak macam ni :P

Rambling at 2 in the morning.

Fluid. Constantly changing. Visionary. Impatience. Paranoid. Forgetful.

I'm all of the above.

When I desire something, I vision myself in it, doing it, living with it. And I plan for it. If the plan worked, great. If it fell through, then too bad. I don't know where I get this trait from. My parents are not planners. They are more like 'wait-and-see' kinda people. I, on the other hand, want to know what's gonna happen to me in the 5 years or so, in black and white, so to speak. Paranoia is a best friend to my visionary department. I always have the 'what-ifs' questions. To me, there's a lot more that could go wrong, than can go right. 

*

I don't like to sit and wait. Certain things, you just gotta wait for it to happen. But I'm very impatient. When I vision something, I want it to come to fruition almost immediately. I think that's why, in everything I do, I get bored easily. When things are not moving, stagnant, not going I want it to be, I get bored. What happens when I get bored? I move on. I escape. I move to other things. And the cycle continues.

*

I find my brain working in a very peculiar way. When I moved on from something, I kinda erase all memories associated with it. I hardly remember things, once I decided to move on from it. When people ask what happened, why, how, when, I could not give them proper answers, because I just can't remember. I almost thought I had amnesia at one point.

*

Motive of this post? No idea. A sudden thought came when I was about to sleep just now. I think I need to change. I'm a putting things in jeopardy, with all those traits of mine. But then again, maybe I just think too much. Which is another superior trait of mine. Sigh. STOP THINKING TOO MUCH!

kthxbai!

Kualiti atau kuantiti?

Persahabatan ni macam ada musim-musimnya. Mula-mula kita kenal, lama-lama jadi rapat gila. Lepak sama, makan sama, tidur pun kadang-kadang sama. Satu ketika, kita rasa macam dah kenal sangat lah dengan orang tu. Kamcing gila babeng, bak kata orang.

Lumrah hidup, setiap perkenalan, pasti berakhir dengan perpisahan. Masing-masing bawa haluan masing-masing. Bila sampai tempat baru, pusingan yang sama bermula. Kenal, rapat, bye-bye.

Dalam sepanjang perjalanan tu, pasti kita ada simpan satu, dua atau mungkin lebih, yang betul-betul dekat di hati. Orang sebut 'best friends'. Tapi apa jadi dengan yang lain? Yang dulunya pernah makan sama tidur sama gosip sama. 

Soalnya sekarang, perlukah ada 10 yang betul-betul dekat di hati, yang konon kawan sampai mati, atau perlu ada 100, yang kalau pergi mana pelosok negara pun, pasti akan jumpa sekurang-kurangnya satu, buat teman lepak sementara waktu.

Kualiti, atau kuantiti?

Saya tamak. Saya mahu kedua-duanya. Yang 10 itu, dan yang 100 itu. Tapi rasanya semua setuju, memang susah nak 'maintain' suatu persahabatan. Ya, yang 100 itu pun, takkan nak buat muka tak malu, tiba-tiba datang Melaka terus 'Eh aku dekat Melaka ni, boleh tumpang rumah kau tak?'. Pasti perlu buat kerja 'groundwork' dulu, iaitu 'maintaning the friendship'. 'I'm guilty!', itu yang saya boleh katakan. Cepat lupa diri, cepat sangat selesa dengan sesuatu, sampai terabai yang lain. Untuk itu, saya mohon maaf.

Bukan nak menuding jari, tapi persahabatan 'work two ways'. Ada persahabatan yang cuba diselamatkan, yang nampak macam nak kecundang. Tapi setakat manalah boleh berusaha, kalau sebelah pihak lagi hanya menunggu. Tunggu ditanya, tunggu diberitahu, tunggu diajak, tunggu tunggu tunggu. Komunikasi itu kan dua hala, kalau satu yang bercakap tot tet tot tet, satu lagi diam, yang bercakap tu lama-lama jadi penat, jadi bengang. Seolah-olah sebelah pihak lagi tiada minat nak selamatkan apa yang tinggal, macam tak kisah. Alasan sama diberi setiap kali, sampai bosan telinga mendengar. 'Macam busy je aku tengok ko, taknak la kacau' 'Oh nampak macam ko dah ada gang baru, siapalah kami ni' Arghhhh alasan alasan. 

Ada sebab kenapa 10 itu 10, dan 100 itu 100. Yang 10 itu sama-sama berusaha, bekerja. Yang 100 itu, mungkin hanya satu yang berusaha, atau dua-dua berusaha cukup makan. Memang perlu ada yang 100 itu, sebab kalau ada 100 'best friends' orang kata gila pulak. Tapi yang sedih, kalau yang dari 10, masuk ke 100.

Orang kata kita tak boleh dapat semua yang kita nak. Itu yang kita tak boleh kawal, tapi persahabatan? Semua ditangan kita. Kita boleh pilih siapa kita nak kenal, siapa kita nak rapat, siapa kita nak bye-bye.

Terpulanglah pada diri masing-masing. Nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih.

me.time.

Salam,

Part of being an adult is paying bills. Since Boss left for Singapore this afternoon, I took the liberty of leaving the office early and went to Alamanda to pay my broadband bill. Earlier this morning, I checked that my salary cheque was cleared, right there and then I paid off the necessaries- rental, savings for the wedding, and being a good daughter, transferred some cash to my mom. 

Responsibility aside, being an adult also means you get to spend your own money in any ways you like. Yes, I've got so little to spend, but that doesn't stop me for being me. Haha. I was enjoying my independence by going shopping alone, and shops after shops I went it, I figured there were a lot of women who shop alone too! Way to go girls! I had very specific things in mind and guess what? I shopped according to my wishlist. The list was obviously not on paper, all was in the head yo! A 'head list' is more flexible than a 'paper list', you know. But trust me, I didn't change my list at all :) At the end of the day, all shoe shops failed me, but I got the two tops on my list. Yay me! I've been a 'shirt' girl for sometime now, and after reading some fashion blogs, I think I need to revamp my wardrobe..slowly that is. 

OK enough rambling. Girls out there, don't think twice about going shopping alone, ya? It's absolutely okay, it shows that you are independent. Those who think we are freaks and 'syok sendiri' because we choose what looks good on us and what to buy without requiring second opinions, they are FREAKS themselves. But I still need to learn how to eat alone in public :P Tried once, itupun at a place that's usually empty :P Any tips? Hi hi hi

Girl Power

We celebrated Maulidur Rasul two weeks ago. I have never joined 'perarakan sempena Maulidur Rasul'. There was once my high school organized the 'perarakan', but a lot of us, including me, 'fly', which means we went home without the warden's permission for the weekend. The following Monday, the wardens called out names of people who didn't attend and asked us to 'berarak' a few rounds around our renowned 'padang lecak'. The rest was history. Well, that is not the whole point of this entry.

I was watching a Maulidur Rasul TV program that morning. They were presenting the 'Anugerah Maulidur Rasul 2011', five of them. On top of that there was Anugerah Perdana Maulidur Rasul, and the winner is Dr Hayei Abdul Sukor, from University Malaya. One of the winners for the Anugerah is our beloved ex-Penyimpan Mohor Besar Raja-Raja. He had been announcing tarikh puasa and raya for 22 years, as old as I am. I'm gonna miss him this coming puasa and raya. OK I still don't get to my point.

Another winner is a Form 4 Chinese girl from Kelantan. She obtained an A in Bahasa Arab in PMR 2010. What I actually want to write about here is the other two winners, first Tan Sri Hasmah Abdullah, ex-CEO of Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri and Tan Sri Robaayah Zambahari, CEO of Institut Jantung Negara. I was amazed when I heard the presenter called their names. It made me thinking, 'Woah they are THE CEO of such big organizations. And they are WOMEN!' I'm not trying to be sexist here. I am just amazed. I don't really pay attention to Malaysian politics, let alone to the leaders of Malaysian big corporations. But when I heard their names, I was kinda inspired. I may be late in realizing this, but after the Anugerah I finally realized that Malaysia really opens up a lot of opportunities for women to flourish in their own expertise. Not only those two, I am sure there are a lot of Malaysian women out there who are CEOs of some organizations, or at least close to being CEOs.

It takes one strong individual to be a CEO, mentally and emotionally. People used to say that women cannot be leaders because of the emotional breakdown that we tend to have. Well these CEOs prove them wrong.

Point is, there's nothing a woman cannot do in this modern world. My mom always said, 'Orang naik ke bulan pun boleh, kamu nak buat tu skit je takut'. If she was to add 'perempuan' after 'orang', that will take the sentence to a whole new level (I've googled 'first woman landed on moon', but found nobody. I guess no woman has set foot on the Moon yet. If there is, then please ignore what I said above :P )

Let us all be inspired by the achievements of women around the world, and prepare ourselves to become one of them in the future :)